Having a baby inspires empowering choices

Baby and me heads together

we might never have made prior.

Baby and me farmers2

Suddenly self-respect and self-love are ours to model,

Baby and me Fiona

our parting gift to them.

Baby and me pretty2

So I ask, how do we tell the truth about who we used to be

sad baby and me 2

and maintain our self-respecting Mommy-ness?

Baby and me silly 2

Separate who we were from who we are

Baby and me ear

 and be so cautious to not smear our fear all over their beautiful little faces?

This was inspired by a comment I made here.

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

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  1. I ponder this, especially now that my kids are older and asking rather point blank questions. I decided that everyone needs privacy, moms included. Some of my choices were a direct link to my home environment – so I change what I can in my kids lives and I hope their choices and self love will guide them on a more direct path. I hope they will never be ashamed of their horrid choices- but I will be here to say hmmm, what could / would happen if you did this? I will die trying to guide them on thinking, not reacting:) when they mess up , and they will , I will tell them this does not define you – then describe them again and again until the mantra is a voice in their head:)

    1. Ya know Linda, I would normally say no way to the selfie but there’s a project going on that I knew would better me if I participated. And I was right. Plus my daughter will actually have pictures of us together. Thanks!

  2. You’ve definitely thought a lot about this Melissa. And I think your angle is a terrific one. Do your best, let go of the rest. Live a life that chosen not reacted. And allow them to know they are not their bad decisions.
    Love Ya’Much,

  3. Thanks for this, and for the trackback to Nikki Daniels’s post – GREAT read & just totally universal sentiments about self-acceptance – even greater urgency when we have children, daughters especially. I think we are greatly benefited by our experiences, good and bad, because there will be times we will understand what our daughters are up to, how they might feel & choices they might be considering because we have BEEN THERE in some way. I believe that each generation in a family has the ability to grow & evolve beyond the previous one precisely because they benefit from all the life’s lessons that have gone before. The stories are ours and we set the stage – but the choice and the future is ultimately theirs. Hopefully that is a “freeing” thought.

    1. I am so glad you were inspired Amanda. I agree that each generation evolves. And there will also be moments when these daughters will make the same exact stupid choices we made. Ultimately, it’s life that’s their teacher. We can only let them know there’s nothing that they will ever choose that we will stop loving them for. Through our eyes, they see themselves.

  4. Hi, Shalagh! Lovely photos and thoughts to ponder. It’s a hard balance to find. I shared the post that inspired your response on my weekly links today, I loved it so much. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Heather, I’m glad you were inspired. That Nikki Daniels is something, ain’t she? I am impressed by her and by you for the devotion of your voices.
      Thank you so much. Am cheered.

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