I love to learn. I take online course and do free email challenges. I read newsletters and watch people’s live webinars. I continue to gain my understanding of what myself and others can offer the world and why. But all that can not do the one thing I need to get me started. Give me courage. Sometimes the doing is getting past the fear. Sometimes it’s grabbing the door handle.

I watch dumbly as people explain to me the ways I can make my “business” “successful” and “stand out”. But here’s me saying “What business?” Do I want to be a business? Being a business sounds boring and a requires a lot of hoop-jumping and hard work. We creatives are a stubborn silly bunch. But that’s not the full truth of it.

The Door That I've Been Staring At But Can't Open on Shalavee.com

I mentally understand that the world needs me and my message and my passion. Yet sometimes, I feel as if I’m standing at a door staring at the surface. I’ve memorized the cracks and the dirt I see. I’ve read about how you lift your arm and take the handle in your hand and turn the knob clockwise and push the door open. But my arm is incapable of lifting itself to even knock much less presume to open that door.

It ‘s as if I’m completely disconnected from the door, any reasons why I should open it, or if my hand and arm are even capable of turning the knob once it’s in my grasp. Not to mention, what if the promised land doesn’t exist on the other side. Paralysis sound familiar?

To say that I’ve got a lot of work to do is an understatement. But what I am proud of is that I seem to know exactly where my dysfunction lies. I know where the work is. And I think that is an immense plus in everyone’s life. Own your roadblock. Be there with the door. Hang a wreath on it. And ask for help over and over again in understanding why it is you need to open it, how you can want to, and for people to be cheering for you when you do open up your door.

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