Back from our first summer vacation and happily can say that I felt vacated a few times while away. Car travel is somewhat exhausting. Our three kitties were very needy upon our return. Felt very relieved that we’d finally gotten a good rain while away but alas, there were some dead plants. Recent disappointments feel like that inevitable acceptance of dead plants.

My Book Dilemma was Solved
Per my last post, The Laser Sun, the Library, and Some Time Off, I was so excited to read the “next book” in the Shepard King series. But when I began to read it, I discovered I was lost since it had been a while since I’d finished the first book. I searched online for a way to remember, a reminder. I reread a bit of the book published as a tease. Through a Reddit post written by someone who had also forgotten the storyline, I found a lovely gal with an Australian accent recapping the book chapter by chapter on YouTube. But now I felt I was missing the writer’s language. I even considered going and buying the book outright.
Today, I took the book back to the library without reading it. Because I had hauled it around on vacation never reading it and now someone else waiting for the book behind me is going to forget the plot. It was a kindness to us both.

Negotiating with My Body Type
I ordered two new bathing suits which I love from a site called BloomChic but the dress was slightly wrong on my body. I have a body oddity called a redundant colon which means that I have an extra 15 – 20 feet of colon. My distended belly, especially when I’m dehydrated during 90-degree weather, has me looking 5 months pregnant.
I can hide this under an empire waistline, but this dress just seemed to balloon out from my body so much that it made me look larger than I am. Plus the dress length on my height made it worse. I really liked this dress, so I waited until returning home to decide. I sent it back today.
What’s Sexiest About Me Isn’t My Butt
Perhaps through resignation, self-acceptance of my body has definitely shifted. I told my daughter that what was sexiest about me was not something you could see, and it wasn’t my butt. Perhaps it’s my ready ability to laugh, my wisdom, my kindness, my strength, or my cooking talent. My friend kindly added that my butt was actually nice.
We all grapple with and handle these daily dilemmas and debates. I’ll call it humaning and demand nothing more from myself than to do my best every day to put fires out and take care of my life homework, all while resourcing the shite out of my nervous system. You always have my permission to join me in doing the same.
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I feel like every time I go away from the house (even with someone still staying at my house) I come home to some sort of loss. Like it’s the sacrifice for getting away🤣
Nooooo! I don’t want to think we have to pay a sacrifice to escape every once in a while. We deserve the escape. But I also believe that there’s always something about to happen and I’m glad I don’t know ahead of time or my brain would explode!