I am fast approaching a milestone here on ye’ olde blog. One thousand posts. Yet I have also kept my foot firmly planted against the door keeping the crack from opening anymore. I have controlled and avoided my success so perfectly that I’m feeling the yawning pains of stagnation here.
How do you avoid success you ask?
- Well you never self-promote. You work just as hard but never ask people for anything. Not their eyes to read or their support. You keep everything on the down low QT.
- You don’t go outside of your bubble and send your work or thoughts to other people.
- You avoid growth and creating anything that could cause more work for yourself soon.
Successful avoidance of success is based solely on the concept that if I did become more successful than that would mean that I may have to pay a high price in effort. I know that presently I can get everything I need done, I can write, and keep up the care of my children. If I started creating more work for myself, then I would be creating my demands when I already feel I have too much.
Of course, success is probably like having your first baby. You think it’ll be tough and it is but you love it. And everything you need just magically appears when you need it. I know all about stalling the children thing and how it is what it is until it isn’t anymore and you won’t die. Well so far it hasn’t killed me.
And lastly, I think I don’t have a good healthy relationship with the word success. I think of it as something you strive for that you ignore other people to get. You work too hard and your children suffer and it’s all about yourself and the needs you have to be acknowledged all the time. I think it’s about greed and money made and attention seeking. About status and ego needs being met. And I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need any of that thank you.
Yet there’s a tiny part of me that says that success isn’t the reward. That there are all sorts of perks and ahas that pave the way and that by the time you get there, you have figured all this out. But you must be in process to discover these eurekas. So, I just want to have some fun and see what happens.
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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.