As Little People, we have a lot of work to do sorting out where we start and others end, how capable we are, and how important and loved we are. These tasks are our primary objectives second only to playing. And if these tasks are incomplete, we’ll live a lifetime of trying to complete them. We will do this perpetually until we decide what we’re worth.
My daughter pokes at me with her misbehavior to find out all of these things. Is she important enough to care about to put boundaries on? Discipline actually means love. Just yesterday we pulled back out the chore chart because she is begging to e reeled in.
Kids whose parents just aren’t or can’t be there for them may look further for boundaries to be set for them by teachers or school authorities or law enforcement as they fear their unimportance. We all just want to be seen and to know we’re important. We forget or never learn that we become the parent to ourselves as we grow. We fear our own abandonment and we quell our fears of unimportance with eating, drinking, drugging, or sex.
I am committed to being as present and as mean a parent as I possibly can because I know the pain of feeling unimportant. And I want my daughter to not have to work so hard to know she exists and matters to the world. And because I want my children to be as addiction free as they can be. I wish for the unhappy cycle to end in this generation.
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Setting boundaries for you children = love
This one is close to home.Thank you. I see the years I’ve searched… and hope I will learn how to find self-worth here where it is, and not behind me or in front of me.