I had a not so nice moment with my body in a dressing room recently. I said in this Instagram post,

“I went shopping today. Put my body in front of mirrors. It was quite soul crushing. I’m reeling with the hangover of my 52-year-old body.”

my body self on Shalavee.com

This mental place of self-hatred is a familiar abode for me. I’ve spent more time in my life disliking my body than liking it. Gladly, I bought clothing afterwards that I liked the way it fit and looked on my body. And that was what I packed for my vacation. I did more shopping while I was away and suddenly, I have discovered graciousness, compassion, and comfort are my current needs.

my body self on Shalavee.com

I shopped for pieces that were elegant, well-fitting, and comfortable. And I am finding this shift comforting. To stop fighting and to accept where I am is living. At the same time, I am also thinking I may rejoin weight watchers for a limited amount of time and give a few exercise classes a try that I have been shy to join. Because when you do even the littlest thing towards a goal, even though there is no change, you feel immensely better for being in process.

Because truthfully, you’ll never move on if you can’t accept where you are. All together, that looks like doing my best at being dressed comfortably and abstaining from the judgment of my worth as a plump 52-year-old. And then setting some intentions to tone and increase my stamina in my body so I can feel strong and powerful inside my body, proud of who I am.

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