When I was pregnant, I was told the very fact that I cared so much about what kind of parent I’d become meant that I’d be a good parent. What takes a potential good parent and steers them to the wrong side of the road? Their own lack of self-compassion and emotional intelligence or awareness. Without these traits, the anxiety alone creates critical parents generation after generation. And the trauma along with it.

I want to beg all mothers and parents, stop criticizing your inner daughters/children. Mercy! If you stop criticizing and unkindly judging yourself, you’ll stop doing it to them too. For your daughter’s future self’s sake, bring compassion inside to end the continuous cruelty you visit upon your and your daughter’s kind inner souls.

It’s cruel heaping all of that judgement and anxiety into our own hearts. And too heavy a burden to hand to our girls to bear too. You and I know this. Turn the tide back. Find help now.

Try instead to keep your unkindness inside your mouth, place kindness in your eyes, and see what and who they truly are. Just who the world needs them to be. Keep your arms wide open, in case they need to enter your home space for a hug and a pat or a rub on the back. Let grudges and children go just as quickly, as you listen, watch, and marvel in who they get to become without the burden of your judgement.

Our girls get to be free to be themselves in this world more than ever before. We can teach them that safety has more to do with trusting your gut, being authentic, and spending time with people who see you for who you truly are, rather than the person they’ve made themselves into after following all the anxious judgements of their parents.

They can choose ease, enjoyment, purpose, and the beautiful world if we start today with the fulfillment of this one request. Because this pain isn’t a legacy, it’s a life sentence. Find as many ways as you can to love yourself for who you are to your world and spread that love to them. They’ll get it.

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

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