Ladies, We Are Still Disregarding Ourselves 100 Years Later

(This piece was originally published during the pandemic on Shalavee.com. I’ve edited it and posted a copy on my Substack account as well. Follow the link to go and subscribe to my posts on Substack now.)

The global pandemic in 2020 again brought to light the fact that the world runs on the efforts and consideration of its caretakers. We aren’t just undercompensated for the care we give the people who need it, we are under appreciated and disrespected. The evil plot twist is that we can do a fair amount of this to ourselves.
 
An exhibit at the National Museum of American History titled All Work and No Pay: A History of Women’s Invisible Labor went up just as the lockdown happened. From the Smithsonian website, “Explore the history of women’s work in the home and the value and implications of unwaged labor. Despite making steps forward in the paid labor force, there is an implied and historical expectation that women will take care of the housework and unpaid work at home.”

Everyone still expects this of us 100 years later. We have had the right to vote for 100 plus years and still we fear reprisal for recognizing our truest selves in our votes much less our lives. Self-abandonment isn’t required to be a good anything.

For the care of our loved ones, we willingly sacrifice our own needs for time, space, peace, and care. Along with all the other caretaking consideration, self-care also falls on our shoulders and we shove that to the bottom of the list as we’ve always done. But then here we are teaching our kids, “Do as I do not as I say” and “, my needs aren’t as important as yours”.

Here we are inadvertently raising another generation to disregard women.

My cry for freedom is that we stop the martyrdom of not caring for ourselves and fake it until we make it. We disallow disrespect. We share chores because all work is just as important. We share childcare as best we can because we need time off. We ask brothers and sisters to take a day or two off of their lives to care for their parent too because we need to get our hair professionally dyed or just sit in silence to moan and turn off our auto buttons.

Please let’s pass on to the next generation the idea that there is no work that is just “women’s work.”

 

     A banner from the Suffragist era reads,

” Forward out of darkness, Leave behind the night.

Forward out of error, Forward into Light.”

Amen.

 

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