Opinions are like noses, everyone has one. And you know of course, that makes everyone capable of being Judgy Judgertons right? But judgements are actually necessary. We judge if that old lady really is feeble enough to need a hand opening the store door and whether or not the pain we are currently having requires a 911 call for an ambulance.
We’ve been taught that judging others is bad. But even if I choose to refrain from judging you, this probably won’t stop you from judging me. You will do what you will do. And so will I.
I am often surprised at the judgements I come up with for people without knowing them. Seems that somehow deciding what you are or aren’t makes me feel better. I’m less threatened by you if I think you are snotty or snobbish. Then you snubbing me won’t be about my deficiency but yours.
If you are too skinny then you will judge me for being fat, as I judge myself this way. Or maybe you have an eating disorder and that scares me. We have a compulsion to separate out ourselves with our judgements.
Ironically, it’s the fear of being judged and cast out of the tribe that keeps us anxious. We judge ourselves against perceived goals of being acceptable and hope to be deemed worthy of our own existences.
Judge Yourself First Lest Ye’ Be Judged Worse.
All I can do is try to be kinder and more open-hearted. To know that I am human and allow for my daily failings to make room for my winnings too. And to know that books and covers don’t match. If I find I have a trigger judgement surfacing, I can make an extra effort to ask a person what their favorite anything is. That way, we will pass from snap summaries to soul searches. That is me being the world I want to live in.
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I read recently that our brains are programmed to distinguish “otherness” first as a survival mechanism.
Back in the day it was more the other’s smell, coverings, movements, etc. Eat or be eaten, so you dang well better be able to judge like-me/not-like-me -and quickly!
Now we live in a different kind of jungle, or desert, or plain; but the instinct to look for, and judge “otherness” first is still there, hardwired.
Absolutely. Our reptilian brain aka the hypothalamus , is still primitive. Our fear mechanism act like we’re cave people.Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly really opened my eyes up to how much pain the fear of being cast out of tribe guides us and actually causes such horrible pain.