I write to discover, and then I forget myself again. It’s been a really interesting journey discovering who I am and what I know. Then, like so much dust churned up, the ideas dissipate back into the computer files. The complexity of me is lost to myself, to others.
I envy my blog’s readers as they know me better than I often know myself. I find it equally interesting that many of my friends never read my blog. They must figure they’ll catch up with me when they see me. Or maybe they don’t want to know too much about me for fear they may not like me as much as they do now.
The me here on the blog is more “me-er” than in real life. A kind gentleman reader fussed recently that he felt bad for me always being so down on myself when I come across as such a confident person in person. I explained that with three posts on the blog weekly with subjects tending towards the wobbly, the picture of me is skewed and concentrated. But in this way, I can show that my humanity is here and so the reader can allow for their humanity too.
I never ever imagined that writing would lead me to such a wealth of self-knowledge and acceptance. A deeper understanding of self and the kindness of people in general has given me renewed faith in both myself and others which is exquisite as liquid hope. Opening up to others’ thoughts and worlds has given my brain sustenance and gifted me all sorts of friendships with all sorts of people including myself. And a boundless bounty of perspectives.
I made a passing comment in the beginning of the year that I wanted to read my writing daily. In that way, I could remember what I do and why it is I think others should really read it too. Because sometimes when I read my stuff, I think I rock. Hope you are enjoying at least this one post. There are 700 more posts hidden and awaiting my to read and recycle them. Acknowledging that I am a writer has been one of the greatest gifts to myself. And it’s gonna keep on giving until I keel over.
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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.
4 Comments
This post touched my heart. You really do have a remarkable blog. I hope all of your friends and many strangers find their way here.
Oh thank you Tamara for this. While I’d love to say everyone get’s it, I don’t think they do/ Perhaps because it is so unique and unexpected. Maybe because I don’t insist. Probably more the latter. You don’t get published if you don’t act as your own advocate and tell everyone it’s worth reading. And perhaps blogging is the same. You have to go out and bludgeon people to read. I’m not loud enough, at least in the self promotional type of way, yet.
So much Love to you !!!!
Shalagh
It’s so true that people who read our blogs tend to know the most distilled form of us ~ it’s such an intriguing notion, I’m not surprised you’re piqued by the idea of becoming yoir own reader to get to know yourself a bit better!
In.the meantime, keepp going at it, lovely, and keeping dusting off those layers of self knowledge ~ over 700 posts and 3 posts a week is quite a remarkable achievement ~ don’t you forget it! X
Yes. And Thank you Claire. It’s time for me to graduate myself and understanding why others read is a way to know whats working for me. And yet there’s never really a way to know what people think. I’ll be at this for a while yet Claire.
Thank you and Love to you too,
Shalagh