I’d love to say I got my stuff accomplished today. I’d love to say I felt that surge of productivity, that high you get when you got a little creative time in for you on the side. But the week writing this, I was about cleaning up after the party, laundry, and baby.
Mostly, It feels like I’m biding my time. Waiting for relief from someone to be free enough to finish the projects I owe other people.
It can feel like I’m a computer desktop with a dozen tabs and programs open and running. And I’m chugging to finish all the tasks simultaneously. It’s slow going and inefficient and yet is all that can be done on this old computer.
Some days I say, Fiona just wants to sit on my head. She wants to be my lovely baby accessory. One that drools and shrieks and sits on my head.
The job of being a parent is an extraordinarily hard one and not for the faint of heart. Our humanity comes in to trip us up, it’s often a miracle we get anything accomplished or create functional families. But we do. And we do. Thank goodness for miracles.
She’s eying up my head. How much of me will she need in the next minute, hour, or day. And is that a sneeze? Oh not a cold. She’ll be in permanent hat mode until weeks end. Sigh. And I’ll end up with it too.
Ive been thinking about having another baby…but then I think about how babies excel at attachment mode…and I wonder if I can do it. For the record I also have a baby/toddler hat…creative time is sneaked in. Hang in there
Ooh I was thinking about you today Andrea. When our esteem and boundaries are wobbly when we have the baby, it is harder. Now is better than the first time but takes such thought and compassion. And a great partner.Thank you for your words of encouragement.