When we last held our one way internet conversation via blog post, I was describing the butt whooping I had from a project I was undertaking. This homework assignment for my blogging e-course was to create a ‘Moodboard” that reflected, ideally, how I wanted my blog to look and feel. I have paid money for this class so I’d better be doing my very best, right? Except, I didn’t feel like it. I wasn’t in the mood.
As the catastrophe unfurled, I began to admit to myself that this was me doing the same hurry up jury rig job as I do with hanging curtains or other suddenly urgent redesigns. And this wasn’t my best work. What I needed to do to come up with for my best work, I wasn’t choosing to do it.
I marched right into it, hated everything I touched, and felt discouraged. Husband dubbed it the “Doomboard”. I let myself feel these feeling and I kept putting myself to it. I wanted to make paper butterflies, to print out Pinterest pictures but hadn’t. So I started. Then I took pictures of the board, looked at them, critiqued them, and returned to edit the board. Three days and five versions later, I have the best Shalavee blog mood board I could muster. Because it’s due on Tuesday and we’re outta here for the weekend. You can see the pictures of this Herculean effort below. These prior four (less than stellar) efforts give you a look into the mind of a crazy perfectionistic collage artist.
This project represented a full commitment to my blog. I had been gathering up steam on the surface, but underneath I was unwilling to get to the nuts and bolts, the nitty-gritty of the blog. I was afraid. Writing down one’s goals for the year and planning doable steps to achieve these goals ensures the goal is met, but I kept putting off describing what I wanted this very personal place to look like. And my internal artist wasn’t very happy about being made to sit in a locked room with nothing fun to plan or do.
Now I have a beautiful visual for inspiration. Although I’m sure in a week I could pick it apart again, I won’t. Instead, I am feeling grateful. For having done the best job I could in the amount of time I had. And for participating in Holly’s Decor 8 Blog Your Way e-course because it’s kicking my butt in all the right ways. I feel gratitude for having somewhere to go and some wonderful people to see this weekend. And for a belly baby karate kicking me of late. Thanks.