A very wise friend of mine Samantha Wheatley, has just become a life coach and her newsletters always offer me something good to think about. Last week’s thought gift was about “fitting in” and how the people we meet that we are most comfortable with are the ones who aren’t trying to be anything other than themselves. A powerful lesson to teach our children by example. Learning to just be ourselves and stop seeking others approval. Here’s the excerpt from her amazing newsletter.

Children are so often presented with opportunities at school or when they are around other kids, where they feel they have to prove themselves. And these situations can often lead to the child feeling left out or as if there is something wrong with them if they are not accepted by their peers.

My friend and I talked about how we try to teach our children to be themselves, to NOT try to fit in to please others.
And it became very apparent that we can learn so much from this.

What we want for our children is something we can give to ourselves also.

I think the reason we feel so deeply for our children when they are faced with the feeling as though they don’t fit in, is that we know what that feels like.
WE remember how we felt when we were in the same position, as children and as adults.
We can all relate to feeling as though we are trying so hard to please, to be accepted, to belong.

How about accepting ourselves first?
How about belonging to ourselves? 
How about fitting in in our own skin?

When you come across a person who is accepting of themselves and is not trying to prove anything to anyone, the confidence and ease with which they carry themselves just oozes out of them. When we can do this for ourselves, we no longer feel the need to want to please others or be accepted by others. We are comfortable in our own skin and abilities and talents and we no longer are concerned with how others feel about us.”

First Middle School breakfast on Shalavee.com


Lead our children by example is all we can ever do. Knowing this, I can only model self-acceptance and self-love and hope that they receive the rest of this lesson in their lives as they watch and learn on their own.

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