I’d lost nearly ten pounds and I was elated. I hadn’t dropped below 160 pounds in at least five years, maybe ten. This weight loss was a huge accomplishment. I felt kind and didn’t dwell on the fact that it’s only taken two months to accomplish. All those years of lamenting my largess and it was gone with a commitment to Weight Watchers. And to myself. In two months.
I was kind that is until I saw the self-portrait I’d just taken and all I could see suddenly was the largeness that still remained. My hips ever-expanding, belly burgeoning, and the progress was gone. When I shone a light on perfection, on how far I had to go, it was as if all that abstinence didn’t matter suddenly. And I stood in that for about 5 minutes before a warning bell went off.
This was a huge accomplishment for anyone. Don’t steal the joy away please. Perspective is a choice about which binoculars to put on. Do I want to revel in pride everyday for my accomplishments? Do I want to feel the pride and power about making choices in my life that make a difference to my soul?
If I’d like to continue for the next however many decades robbing myself of every accomplishment I achieve as I compare my progress to a perfect end goal or someone else’s achievements, it’s one choice I could make. But it’s a blechhhy one!
Yes I’d love to fit into a size 8 again. However, today I’m going celebrate my win of fitting back into the wardrobe I have. And treat myself to a new blouse maybe that looks flattering on this new body I intend to keep. I am not going to rush off and read the ending and then decide that where I am now sucks. I’m going to stand in my now and show that drops in the bucket fill the bucket up. Or drops out of the bucket slim the bucket down in this case. And in doing so, I am then filled with pride and accomplishment and hope.
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