I have stabbed at understanding my disconnect with putting my talents out there in an actual way for people to pay me for them. I do believe everyone that says I’m creatively talented but I just haven’t been able to connect between the doing and the getting paid to do it.

When you focus on something, answers show up. This week two separate sources have hinted at what my disconnect might be. Valuing myself.

Sycamore bark from Shalavee.com

In Bari Tessler’s Money Healing, a program designed to help with the emotional work of creating an honest, mature relationship with money, she explains, ”Here, we dissolve shame. We get clear on our “money story” and unwind patterns that no longer serve us. We claim our value.

And Tiffany Han, a life coach extraordinaire, says, “Articulate what you’re doing. Tell your story. Figure out the specifics of how you can help people. Learn to communicate the value of the work you’re doing. And then share that communication with the world. Over and over and over again.”

And then today, in her newsletter, Kory Woodard, another gal who’s business’s purpose is to help other gals play out their purposes, says, “You have something valuable to offer the world. By not putting your ideas out there, you’re holding yourself back.”

Yes, yes yes. Ok, now what?

Candy lights from Shalavee.com

I’ve noticed that I have often been off-put by people trying to sell me stuff. Perhaps I’m overcompensating for what I don’t want to be perceived as doing. If I never hawk my talents and wares, I’ll never offend anyone by seeming some sort of salesperson. But then it seems I ‘m saying that what I have to offer has no worth and I don’t exactly believe that either.

When I dig a little deeper, I find that some of the lead players in my life story have had larger than normal egos and so I tend to shy away from actions that seem egomaniacal. Yes the act of self-promotion implies you know the value of what you do but I’ve misconstrued it as getting your ego off too. I need to separate the ego from the equation as the value of a service or talent isn’t necessarily how great the person themselves are but what other people get from their offerings.

I’m searching for a re-frame for this. Any and all suggestions and advice will be welcome.

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  1. The ego promotes misunderstanding, insecurity. But there’s also ambition underneath that hood; thinking of turning it off is a part of the misunderstanding —you’re supposed to reason with it, and find balance with it, not kill it.

    Is it better to be a little rude and apologize if your actions help you survive?

    1. All very very interesting angles Adam. I agree completely. And thank you because I find that others’ thoughts often jog me into other perspectives I could not have even thought of.
      And yes, forgive me while I survive. Such a first world concept this.

  2. I know exactly what you mean Shalagh!! I’ve struggled with this too and I think all creative and artistic people do. First, read the book The Art of Asking, by Amanda Palmer. She writes A LOT about this very thing, and second, come to my retreat next August!! I know it’s months away, but for me, part of valuing myself and my creativity was making time for it, giving myself permission to do it and often spending money on letting myself focus on it. I also had to take getting paid for my art out of the equation for a bit and just focus on what I wanted to make first. That way I was really making what I wanted to make and not what I thought others would pay me for. But that’s MY story. Come to the retreat and Joan and I will help you work on yours. xo

    1. Oh thank you Leslie. And of course I want to come to your retreat. Of course. A matter of working out money and logistics. And thank you for your reading recommendation and for that bit of your story as I’m certain you get mine.
      I see that you’ve even got an email for you retreat attached to your picture. I’m writing down to follow up, OK?

  3. Okay…here you go. Even the Dalai Lama has a website, YouTube channel, and Facebook page. http://www.dalailama.com/

    Does that help? 🙂 Much love to you, my friend. Just keep thinking/trying things out until you find a way of showing what you can do that doesn’t feel icky to you. But don’t think/plan too hard/too much or it will all just stay in your head. Love to you.

    1. HA Melanie, that is so funny and such good proof that even wisemen have to allow for the connection to their wisdom via internet. And the over thinking advice is spot on. Thank you for showing up for me darlin’. It means the world to me.

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