barbie-bathing-in-crayons on shalavee-staging-1.local

In my current mode of mindfulness, I am aware of the way I’m feeling about my daily tasks. The accomplishment of laundry, cooking, or writing feel differently when you apply different filters. There seems to be three modes I go into when I’m task mastering myself to get things done. The first is dread, the second is just doing, and the third is the daring.

When I’m in Dread mode, I am not feeling proud of what I’m doing. I feel overwhelmed and put upon and resentful. My inner six year-old would rather be doing anything else, I’m not going to be proud of my outcome, and I may not do a very good job.

penguine-city on

The Doing Mode is a more “Be Here Now” mode. It’s getting through knowing it needs to be done. Keep my head down and just keep going.  It’s boom, boom, boom, and next. Fold, fold, fold, and wash, wash, wash, and next. Get her done so we can get on to the other things that need doing.

But daring mode is the way you get to feel like a superpower. If you dare to put more into your schedule by actually scheduling it. If, after lunch, instead of doing the dishes immediately, you go and create a piece of art or make that one phone call you’ve been dreading to get it over with (ahem, scheduling my colonoscopy), you will begin to create powerful magic in your perception of your life and your time. The magic of pro-activity is that you shift your mindfulness to possibility instead of resentment. And you go from thinking you haven’t enough time, to getting it all done and then some. In being conscious of what my mind is thinking and how I feel about it, I begin to reform my habits and my perception of my day’s expenditure from dread to glad. That is mighty powerful Doing.

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    1. I recognized this pattern Tamara. And I vow that nothing will keep me emotionally hostage again. Neither family members nor housework. I hope you find new perspective in mindfulness.

  1. You are speaking my language. Today the plan was to prepare for the upcoming very busy week so I can still be creative and take excellent care of myself. Thought I would be pretty much on my own for the afternoon. Plans changed and the house is anything but empty but the game hasn’t changed, although it might look different, better a late start and something done than no start and berating myself for it later.

    1. Karen, I am becoming adept at jamming stuff through even when the three year old is on top of my head. Not much except maybe a medical emergency, is a true excuse to do something small for your creative self.

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