I have always been a person that considers what more there is for me to know and grow from. I have always been a seeker in that way. Understanding myself and what I fear and crave is fascinating and necessary for me and I never remember not being this way. Either we’re growing or we’re dead. And sometimes it takes as long as it takes.
Many years ago, I picked up a book authored by a well-known American Test Kitchen Chef Pamela Anderson called The Perfect Recipe For Eating Great and Losing Weight. And it truly changed my outlook on what life can be. How understanding your lifestyle and self from an overall perspective is a better way to shift even the smallest parts and that sometimes even considering making this shift takes a long long time.
She was overweight and a eureka moment at a conference getaway weekend had her considering a life shift to lose her weight and recreate her lifestyle. But it still took her possibly a year to begin implementing a plan to accomplish this. She wisely thought about all that this would encompass ; letting go of her resentments, devising easy meal plans, and incorporating exercise into her life. She inspired me and she also confirmed what I still see happening with me today : sometimes shift takes a while.
I have long been afraid of my power. I knew from everything I’d read that I could do and be whatever I wanted and that just seemed frightening. My world was comfortably small. And then there comes a point where you can no longer stay. You need stimulus and change and you need to grow or else. I have known the “whats” of my advancement in my “career” for a long time but I also have a real problem with following a set standard recipe for living.
So I bucked the advice for growing my readership by their recipe of bait and grab because I didn’t think I liked the cookie cutter feeling of what I kept reading. I find that often men make things seem so matter of fact and I live throughout the shades of grey shadows around the shift. But in the end, their oversimplification and my over-complication still brought me back to the place where I can see that my future passion for connecting with and sharing ideas with a broader audience will still be best served by doing those things that I initially felt forced into doing. But that also doesn’t mean that I ever have to do anything in a fashion that feels sleazy or insincere. Ever.
So here I am re-committing to support myself and my growth in whatever means are necessary. I am committed to being more visible, asking for more support, and valuing my talent and the products from it in a way that feels righteous and true. And when I do any and all of this, I inspire anyone else to be true to themselves too. That’s where I’m aimed.
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