Ahead of Time

Oh, I used to mistrust all those people who did stuff before they needed to. Lists and calendars be damned. Preparedness, bah. Show offs. Uninspired wannabes.

But now I have warmed up to the concept, conceding it’s a necessary addition to my previously evil ways.

Where once I couldn’t, now I understand the piece of mind it gives the scheduler is well worth the extra effort. A little prep, a little step, saves one for later. Proactively using my time feels better.

Smacks of Effort

I’m standing in the kitchen less than a month ago and it occurs to me, cooking smacks of effort. I know this and usually can summon up a modicum of effort to feed everyone. But eating well? That requires an extra effort.

The prepping of all the vegetables to make the fruit salsa or the wonderful roasted winter vegetable gratin, that smacks of more effort. And frankly, I’m not sure I deserve that kind of effort.

Worth the Effort

And then my brain hitched and bitched at this thought. As I’m dicing onions, I’m remembering how it felt to be a child who was lost in the cracks of my parents’ relationship. And I understood myself to not be worth the effort.

Then I said, “To heck with that!” I want the feeling of pride to rush through me when I complete the job without shortcuts. Or being lazy or cheap. I can never “get away” with anything. I always know.

I choose to care for and prioritize not only my children but myself. I want them to know they’re worth a little extra ooomph and push. And I want to know I am too.

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