I often make myself do things I don’t feel like doing or things I am unsure about how to do. I write words to fill up a page knowing that once it’s filled and the idea is held by this placeholder, I can return and replace each and every crappy word I’ve written. Every piece of writing is a placeholder for a golden edited version later.

children placeholders on Shalavee.com

My children are placeholders of a sort. They mark a place and time in my life. They created a purpose I only had an inkling I needed. And they weighted down my heart in unimaginable ways. Or perhaps my life before them was the placeholder then? Awaiting the larger purpose and character transformation that I have undergone to be a better me after their entrance.

I have ratty furniture holding the place for nicer furniture to come in the future. I create better systems to work by and better ways of thinking to process my life with knowing that as I grow, they will too.

I have values that I renovate regularly. They hold a place for the value of myself and of humanity. They’ve become more noble and more honest as I’ve gotten older. And when the day comes that I have a cause to fight for, they will have held their ground. Until then, my values are holding a place in my heart for the future of the world I want to live in. And the person I want to be.

placeholders on Shalavee.com

What is it in your life that you feel is holding the place for something else?

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