I did the unthinkable recently. I asked for someone’s help to clean my bathrooms. She offered and I accepted. And while she cleaned my bathtub, I tried to stay away but ended up watching.

My friend used to freelance house clean like I once did. And I knew I would not hesitate to offer to clean a pregnant lady’s bathroom, so I said yes when she offered. I’m thinking we’re friends forever. Like holding someone’s hair while they puke, toilets are involved. And a “what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom” kinda thing wordlessly transpires.

Asking for help is an extraordinarily noble act. Not only are you admitting to your humanity and your inability of doing it all, but you’re inviting someone in to see your vulnerability. Or gross bathroom.

What we forget in our oh-so-egocentric fashion, is that asking for someone’s help is your gift to that someone. Your need is a chance for them to feel good about themselves. You offer an opportunity to know they made a difference in your life and put a brick in place as you were building your house. Or cleaning your dirty tub when you physically were incapable.

If it feels good when you support and aid others, it makes sense you can offer that opportunity to someone else by asking for their help. All it requires is a phone call or text or query to ask. I am grateful and proud to say I’ve done this a couple of times recently. More than ever, I feel worthy of care and concern to continue to ask.

Thanks in advance to my Baby Help Team.

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

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  1. It’s so great that your friend was willing to help you out. At some point, there is no bending to clean a tub when you’re pregnant. Even if you don’t like to admit it.

    1. Thanks for being my yes woman. Why do I have the feeling that I owe you a couple however? And there’ll be no cashing in on that debt for years.

  2. I”m so jealous another woman was first! lol!

    Every pregnant woman should have a help team lined up in advance, I think this is the BEST idea – I’ve never heard of it done before but I think it should be mandatory. Baby showers are great, but the support you really need … is the cleaning which is physically uncomfortable or impossible … I can remember having to hold my breath to empty trash cans because you can’t breathe and bend over at the same time … and then after the baby comes, you need shower time, cleaning done, sleep time, eating time… all those things people who have never had an infant take for granted. Eimon will need help with homework whilst Belly Baby is screaming his/her butt off … so many things you cannot do when you are caring for an infant 24/7.

    Pick me pick me! for the next toilet duty! please lol!

    1. Michelle, You’re the kinda friend every new Mom doesn’t know she needs. In the “olden days”, the womenfolk would probably descend on the new Mom’s house. Like it or not, the house was clean and there was food cooking and there was coaching. That is not this world. Or at least not mine. So the next best thing is a committed help team. I can actually use your help now anytime you are in a place to give it. Call me. Text me. I’ve got floors and tubs all dirty just for you.
      Thanks so much for your enthusiasm!

  3. Shalagh, I think that’s a really good way to think about it. Of all the times you have helped someone, it’s now someone else’s turn, and they will probably feel good about helping out. It’s healthy to ask for help, because that’s taking care of you. Good job, Team Shalagh! How are you feeling? Good, I hope.

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