During the holidays, I stepped back two steps and waited and watched my life and my choices to decide what I truly wanted to do and why. I posted less and have been skipping posts because I am still in this discerning what is important and me and what isn’t. I began talking about this several weeks ago in this post.
What I doing in the meantime is working on a visually and functionally updated blog. This is a very tough process. But with the help of kind designers and my therapist, I am making progress toward an outcome that feels exciting and not oppressive. A place where I can just be myself instead of a person I think people want me to be.
I am currently excited to be working on a blog post based on the Women’s Day theme which will be published elsewhere. And this is allowing me to write something I had already begun to be excited to write and enables me to consider what kind of presence I want to have on my blog too.
We lose sight of ourselves sometimes. Forget who we are. Search for ourselves in others’ words or in our surroundings. And I can say I am more quickly finding myself in places. I find myself in the kind and enthusiastic voices of my online friends. I saw myself in the chestnut that sits next to a photo of my 20 something hair which was that color.
There’s no one out there giving us permission to be us. We are our own gatekeepers in that game. And I also know that life is not meant to be painful and sad. I am aiming for fun and connection in this year and I know that this address at Shalavee.com holding some of those opportunities and answers.
So if you are a regular reader, I hope this gives you something to hang in there for. And if you are a new reader, welcome and I look forward to having you here when things get interesting.