I have been asked many times to call up my vision of what I want my life to look like, to feel like. Somehow that always seemed ludicrous to me. Maybe I didn’t believe I deserved to be happy or I didn’t believe that I was in that much control of my destiny. But now I believe it’s not only my choice to be happy, it’s my right. And manifesting your happiness is not only good for you but everyone you know and love.

I erased my white board in my craft room. Ghosts of a year full of pushed and strained aspirations. All those well meant plans scribbled in multiple colors meant to urge me on through all the tasks that I knew I should and must do to make progress. Why do we live must lives instead of want lives? I was living a life of never enough and doing it all for the wrong reasons.

5 years of journals plus planners

Living the “right” life, the happy life will not mean that I hold a knife to my own throat daily as a way of pushing myself to achieve what I think I should. The ends might seem like they justify the means but then I end up not trusting myself to be kind to me.

Instead I want to do more of what makes me happy. To choose to spend my thoughts and efforts on “want to’s ” and to relax into knowing that the world is for me and not against me. To tune into the people and activities that bring me joy and have faith that joy is where my vision will lead me. I am intrigued aren’t you?

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