As she was swinging belly down superhero style on her swing, I heard Fiona say “I am invincible”. Or was that invisible, I thought. Is her power to disappear? And it occurred to me that you can choose one or the other mode in life but you can’t be undecided. You can choose strength and resilience to withstand the perceived thoughts of others. Or you can choose to avoid their eyes and their judgements, but either way you’ve made a choice. You can’t choose neither.
While I have chosen to be in the public eyes with my blog, often honestly sharing information that would be considered too much information in an earlier life, I still can not say that I’ve felt I’m invincible. For a long time, I’ve felt raw and the world’s input sharp and pokey. Unknown people and their judgements are dangerous. I was suspicions about why anyone might want to befriend me. How could you possibly control all of that? I’d just wanted to remain invisible. Until that became painful.
You can’t remain invisible because you need to belong to the world. Simply, you need the validation that people give you. It’s excruciating to not receive this. Instead of hiding, you can just decide that people are still relatively good, well-meaning, and curious about you, and then often done with you. They’d rather focus on their own insecurities and perceived flaws and not yours. And if you saw their egos are just as self-involved as yours is, you’d know that you aren’t all that important in their eyes. But we are all very important in our own lives. All we have at the end of the day is our feelings about our lives. So we might as well go for the invincibility, the resilience to caring and do what we need to make us happy. Not at the cost of others but to feel the freedom we were born to feel within our lives, our bodies, and our minds.
How many people could I help today if I felt a little stronger, even as I wobble? If I had a little less clutter to stumble over in my head as I walked through to greet them and extend my hand. Not for any other reason than to say, “Hey, you aren’t alone”. So here’s to ever-increasing invincibility. To becoming visible, especially to ourselves so that we know what our assets are to offer the world.
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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.