Am trying to find my way back to me. Seems my fear of vulnerability and my Impostor Syndrome regularly derail me from my course settings and I find myself off-roading, distracted by the current tasks and scenery, and I soon forget what it was I was doing. I forget how much I’ve already accomplished. I forget myself.
This realization happened again to me this week. I am certain I have even written this blog post before. I feel like the Tom Hanks short-term memory guy character on Saturday Night Live. He kept turning around and saying to Tony Randall,”Hey, you’re Tony Randall!”. I read a few of my over 1000 blog posts and I say,”Hey, I’m a pretty good writer”. Or I hear from a reader occasionally who says they love what I write and I realize, “Hey, someone’s reading what I write.” And then I have to go grocery shopping and make dinner and I disappear again.
I do not have a big goal about where I am going with myself. I aim to stay invisible which will reduce the vulnerability. Except, I am lying to myself if I think I’ve not been riding that road for a very long time. So here I am staring at myself saying,”Now what?”.
I am in charge of my “what” every single day. I get to decide if I am going to aspire for more, stay where I am, or withdraw. That is a choice I have treated irreverently. I have acted like I have no power, like I am a victim to the Christmas and Summer seasons. Like so many things are more important than my work, my voice, and my creative impact. I am not and they aren’t.
In the anonymous programs they say that everyday is a good day to start over. It is never to late to step into your own power of choice and tell yourself and others to listen up. I think I see a bullhorn over there. Wait right here while I go pick that up.
If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.
And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.