We’re in full holiday swing now and the mood is different than ever before. Because I’m different. Backstage at the Nutcracker night, I told the other mothers that I had been an ever-loving mess last year but I’m medicated this year. They laughed but this is my truth; I am a different person this year. And I owe that to making a life-changing decision to ask for medication for my anxieties.

Helping myself out of the perpetual swirling vortex of anxiety is allowing me to be present for myself, for my family, and also for others who can choose this for themselves. As my friend Siri on Instagram chimed in to say it better than I could have,

Holidays without Anxieties Update on shalavee-staging-1.local
Fiona is all the way on the right

Best decision of 2019. Deciding to finally try meds for the depression I’ve battled for decades. It’s early days yet, and my doctor and I are still fiddling with dosages, but I already suspect that this could be, in the words of a friend, a game-changer. Why not sooner? Because it wasn’t “bad enough” – I was able to function wasn’t I? Because I was sure I could fix it without meds if I could just find the combination of lifestyle choices and cognitive-behavioural tools. Because stigma. Shout-out to Shalagh, whose openness encouraged me to try. Shout out to my wonderful husband and friends and family, who have been steadfast with their support as I start this new journey. Shout-out to me.”

Every change and every choice we make for ourselves has a snowball effect in our lives. When we choose to take better care of us, everyone benefits. And in my case, the holidays are more laid back and my hope is that my children will not inherit as much of the anxiety as we did from our parents. I am setting the scene and the tone for this very special time of year when my children deserve all the happiness promised them.

Happy Holidays to Everyone and I’ll be taking a hiatus from the blog to come back with surprises in the New Year!

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  1. I am so happy for you. Living with less anxiety allows us to stay in the moment. Who knows why our brains need that correction, but I, for one, will probably always need “better living through chemistry.”

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