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My 4 Words for Motherhood are Relentless, Chaos, Perseverance, & Confusion. But motherhood would never ask you to not be you. It asks you to be a better you. To be brave, to impress, and to trust yourself. To make a plan you’d be proud to accomplish and then stay the course and see what happens. Even in Summer! You are the best mother when you rise up be a hero for both them and you. Being human, falling down and getting back up is a very noble process and one we owe ourselves and our children a chance to see us grab and run with.
I had a birthday visit from my oldest today. She’s a surrogate daughter, an adopted sister soul to our family. And she spoke of feeling that need to have a nesting partner. That next chapter where you feel the need to share your space with someone and your DNA with the world. I have always…
I tried to sit with my thoughts today. To write. To extract some sort of profound truth from my day. And my brain said “sploop”. Moments of profundity sometimes won’t show up on demand betwixt days and days of 7 year old daughter harassment and 15 year old son idiocy. So be it. It may…
Anne Lamott said “Write as if your parents are dead.” In an attempt to save people from your truth, you censor yourself from writing about your pain. This pain has made you you and may have been caused by them. And this mutes your most important story. And now Their Shames have become yours. You…
I’m still struggling with how to do the next rightest thing by my Mom. She’s been out of the hospital for a month. Progress is slow and on her terms. She shrieks and grouses when I attempt to move on to places she’s afraid of. The layers of neglect and chaos are so deep. When…
As you may know, we now have an official teenager in our home. Not the 13-year-old wanna be teen. Not the emerging effort teen. We have the full out hormones are making me weird and mindless teen. And no matter what you say, there are certain things I will not accept as normal for a…
The rain has finally stopped and the blue skies are filled with cartoon exhaust clouds. My son’s friends are all happily yelling at the video game they are playing. The smell of chili and banana bread permeate the house. Am trying to squelch the pain of my SI joint which has returned with Ibuprofen. And…
Let me catch you up dearest readers on what has blown up my life. If you follow me on social media, you’ll already know that I have been dealing with my mother’s fall and her subsequent hospital visit. But this story goes much much deeper for me as many mother stories do. I have been…
Am I doing it right? I dunno. Am I doing it anyway, Yup! This week is filled with anticipation of Autumn and all the cleaning and doing projects that seem to accompany the break in hot weather. Home and garden maintenance and cleaning. The windows look horrid. The bought potted perennials need planting. Things need…
I’ve been with my kids perpetually since March. Which means I have been their sounding board, their punching bag, and their home base. To maintain our family’s equilibrium, and my sanity, I’ve had to get even craftier about my parenting. Buying them things sometimes brightens the mood. Restricting screen viewing works occasionally. But what I’ve…
In the beginning of the year, I was doing pretty great. I was exercising regularly, losing my Christmas weight gain, writing an essay that I knew would be published, and had some routine going. And then the Pandemic happened. I didn’t implode immediately but the decline of my “self” life was inevitable. I’ve spent a…
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