What could speak louder than the words I say to myself, in private. And it happens that some of those words are in written form in my journal, loud and clear for me to reread. I was struck by gratitude at rereading this excerpt and wanted to share my journal entry here so that you my reader could see what great self-talk sounds like.
“I am on the precipice of seeing myself as who I truly am and how that is valuable to the world.”
“Releasing my wholehearted story was/is magical. It is the story of creativity vs. anxiety. The magic of rediscovering hope. Of beginning again over and over. Of finding my own truths to live by. Of reparenting and reprioritizing my life and self-expression. Affirming, grounding, and cathartic.”
“And I must remember in the end it was me saying yes to the opportunity to prove (or disprove) theories about self. That is an amazing gift that I have denied myself. Except this time. And what I found was that I can put myself to a hard writing task and complete it. I can be edited and not die. I can write well and be truthful. I can put myself to a task and complete it on time, even ahead.”
And armed with this feeling of goodwill toward myself and my abilities, I wrote out some “Can Cards”. Squares within which I wrote all the things I know I can do.
I can write well. I can write with a deadline. I can write, edit, and complete. I can design an event and a window well. I can speak from my heart. I can master computer knowledge. I can design graphics. I can connect with people authentically. I can take and make beautiful pictures. I can ask for help. I can tell my story. I can art anytime I want. I can make friends. I can take time for myself. I can make money. I can parent my children well.
I give you these truths from my heart and my journal so that you may benefit from the understanding that we are ever-changing for the better. And self-trust and self-esteem are within our power to increase for our happier lives. I created all of this from what seemed like an abyss.
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Note to self: I can.
I suddenly am surprised at all the things I think I can actually do when all my life I bark out, “I can’t” before I hear the rest of the story.