Having just returned from a two night quickie vacation to Pennsylvania to visit friends and see Gettysburg for the first time, I am still feeling the remnants of a perspective shift. It is kindness to give yourself a break this way occasionally as day-to-day workings can get kinda repetitive. And what the break gave me was permission to be on a break. My day-to-day can feel so stringent and non-permissive that it begins to feel oppressive.
I’m a task master. When I decide it’s time to be doing something, it’ll happen. But without time off, the tasks start to feel like a prison. My well intended purposeful doing good choices begin to feel like dreadful obligations. And I can use a break from my Super Ego. So off we went where all I had to do was drive and decide where to pee and eat. It was rather mindless.
Coming back into my zone/life, I had scheduled a sinus surgical procedure that, while giving me hope for a future without perpetual sinus infections, had me dreading and holding my breath for what I would endure for the next couple weeks. I decided that I can indulge in whatever I want up until my surgery until I was well. I said yes to all bread products and wine and I continue until I’m given the OK to exercise this Wednesday. And by then, I think I’ll have gotten my fill of Summer yumminess.
It’s OK to be afraid, especially if they’re putting you under. It’s OK to be compassionate even though you may not even know what that means at first. It’s OK to enjoy what little Summer there is left and not worry about the repercussions. Because this is all the time we get with our children before they get on the buses and go back or start school.
So I am here enjoying the unseasonably cool August weather. Kitchen’s clean, laundry’s done, and I have a few moments to sit and read or write. That is what Summer has simmered down to. The now. And I’m darn glad to have a now.
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