I was speaking to a very favorite Lady friend of mine about all the things I’m paralyzed to do. Certain I can’t do them for lack of time or technological knowledge, I put off even trying these things while envying everyone else who seems to be able to just trudge onward and get them done. She said she’d heard someone say, “What if you were imprisoned and had all the time in the world?” How would you approach your task then? “What if it was a given?” I thought.
First, it seems to me that not having permission or empowerment to move forward with any dream is in fact an imprisonment of its own. You are trapped in your “I can’t cage”, unable to move for lack of resources, lack of time, or lack of money. And for me, lack of technical experience thwarts my dreams even though it would seem I know a bit with all the blog stuff I’ve endured.
But all these lack excuses are just subterfuge for the real excuse: fear. Simply, if I make this effort and it flops, how much of a fool will I look? Or if I do this and it succeeds, how much more stress will I add to my life? My excuses are just ways to overthink myself out of the risk of being ashamed I’d even tried and failed.
But what if it was a given? What if the thing that you wanted to do was already predestined. If the scroll was written and you no longer had to be responsible for whether or not you were to manifest your destiny. If it just were already a fact. Then you might be curious to find out, despite your shortcomings of resources, how you’d made it happen. Like knowing how the mystery ends but not knowing how it unfolded. Would I be curious enough to want to write the miraculous middle?
It will happen. With assuredness never before held, I could just know it will happen. That’s a kind of faith in my life which I’ve never had before. Yet, everything I have wanted that I knew would make me happy, I have manifested. So it would go to reason that if I really want it, if it really needs to happen in my life, it will. No mount of worrying about whether it will or not ever really made a difference. It was the conscious effort to connect my dots, despite my fears, that did. Knowing that whatever is best for your life and you is just meant to be.
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4 Comments
When I worry, I ask myself “In the scheme of my life, how important is this?” Things hardly ever rise to the worry level of importance. It doesn’t mean I totally stop worrying of obsessing, but it does put things in perspective.
Yes I agree and I also recently discovered that we worry about things we can’t control and people’s opinions we can’t control and forget about all of the actions we can actually take.
I keep forgetting to say how what a gifted photographer you are. The pictures in your blog are terrific.
Thank you Mala. My initial efforts were to make sure my voice was clear and strong. And then I realized that my visual sense was as strong as my verbal so i began to take all of my own pictures. I finally learned that i needed them to be large and all the same size. And I think all of the editing tools also gave me permission to play with my pictures until i was happy with them. Mostly I use my phone. I like how it all turned out too.