I went on a goodwill mission today and took my son to the movies. He’s moving into that tween zone of growing up. He’s pushing his boundaries out, sometimes even bullying me to get what he wants, much like his little toddler sister. And funds are pretty much depleted in our trust fund.
It was four years ago I made mention of this concept in a post called Trust Deposits. Remember the book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People? One of the concepts I culled from that book was about the trust accounts you build between you and the people you are in relationships with. Your children and your spouses as well as your coworkers or your neighbors. You pay into the account with kindness and good will so that when your relationship takes a bump, you can draw from the surplus between you without effecting the relationship.
Seems my son and I are going through another phase where I’m trying to be kind but am feeling agitated. My son isn’t recognizing these deposits are necessary. And I’m beginning to not feel great about us. It happens. So today I took him to the movies trying to fatten up the trust fund. We ate at Subway and then saw Zootopia at the movies. It was nice and more of that kinda thing will need to happen in upcoming years to keep plugging the holes where my trust has leaked out with his ignoring me moments. But I’d rather try to continue to build good will than keep feeling mad and frustrated, wouldn’t you?
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4 Comments
Working on that with a 22 year old son, and he is finally getting that there is some give necessary with the take. Whew!
How do you get them to buy into the process of creating the fund when they already get everything they want, you know Karen? There has to be a relationship there that was more than the stuff they get done for them and given to them. Thanks for reading!
Relationships are never simple are they? We recently saw Zootopia with the two grandsons and really enjoyed it, had a great giggle 🙂
Wasn’t it a fun movie Miriam. Relationships with children are tricky because you have to balance your needs and their needs. And they are always acting as if their needs are never met. And if you don’t fulfill your own needs you end up not being a very good parent. I earned a baby step with him that day but it’s not enough.
Love,
Shalagh