Thoughts on financial stability inevitably return me to memories of scarcity. In addition to my own baggage, I also carry the impact and memories of my ancestors and their stories of hard times too. Many of these stories about moments of scarcity and shame will never be mentioned yet the psychological effects of these events linger through the generations. As survivors, we recreate what we know, even if those circumstances are undesirable. But surviving and living are two different places to be.
I often notice that feeling of the shadow pain and sadness where my abundance should be. But recently, I wanted to see if I couldn’t study my thoughts and create a little “more” in spite of my conclusion that I live on less. I believe in manifestation and if I’m thinking I don’t have enough (time, patience, or money) than I don’t. So I concentrated on the words Abundance and Opportunity as the words I wanted to go steady with.
Surprisingly at first, my brain wanted to dismiss the words altogether. It was a struggle to keep them present in my mind. I kept thinking, what were those words again? I finally got them to stick. And as I figured out more ways I could show up for myself and get out of my own way, and thus increase the odds for opportunities for abundance to occur, I found I was feeling more hopeful. And creative.
My Eureka moment came when I acknowledged that I couldn’t make money by saying “make money”. The only possibility of my making an income ever was in continuing to practice those things that I love. I committed to daily creativity and wrote myself a permission slip. And I also committed to sharing this process and it’s outcome with the people who enjoy it. My online community, my family, and my friends all cheer when I share my creative endeavors with them so why rob them of the fun and myself of the support?
And now I am feeling more abundant. I am using what I have and the creativity comes without effort. I am fulfilling my promise to myself and feel the confidence in my abilities building. I’m endeavoring to be one of those people who recognize and acknowledge their capabilities and talents. And I feel certain that my opportunities are hovering close by waiting for me to see and name them.
If you work hard, life’s easier especially when you do what you love accompanied by the people you like. And you keep the doors wide open. I know that if I keep telling myself the same story over and over about how I don’t have enough money to buy a new printer cartridge or don’t have enough time to be creative, that will be my reality. That is not how I want this story to end. This story needs to end with Abundance and opportunity, my two new favorite words.
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2 Comments
I really enjoyed reading this blog entry. Isn’t it interesting how powerful perception can be? I was just reading that past-present-future do not have to be continuous. That we have the choice to interrupt and be present to NOW. It’s that we force continuity through our fear based thinking,remembering, and worrying,prejudging.
Wish they taught us this stuff on school alongside Math& Science. The skill to choose our thoughts “rightly” and to prioritize loving – forgiving- peaceful perceptions. Imagine if every human being learned this with their abc’s??
Oh thank you so much for your thoughtful comment Suzanne. That we were ever taught that we had the power to choose our thoughts would have been tremendous. I always said they should have mandatory parenting classes. But were we to have confidence in our power to choose, I think that may help in many different of life’s arenas. Fear based thinking absolutely. Now is all I’ve got and I’m rather tired of throwing its potential down the black fear hole that stands between me and my future. I’m trying to outsmart myself to prove it can be done.
Again, thank you.
Love,
Shalagh