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Wisdom Lesson Letters

Say goodbye to kindergarten, here comes first grade. We already knew Mr. Green’s bus would come at 8:25. It’s still peanut butter and jelly for lunch every day. Except for Friday when it’s pizza day.  I was freed to spend all day doing whatever I wanted to. I decorated and created and dyed my hair and caulked and went to the gym and sanded chairs. And when Eamon got home, he didn’t have that edge that he had last year that I felt I had to coddle and worry over.Yes he was hungry but his sense of humor was still intact. He wanted to return immediately to school and do it all over again, bless his heart. He’s big now, soon to be even bigger.

A redefinition of me means finding out what I am not. I am not 25. Haven’t been for a while.

Resigned to my limitations, I have permission to become someone I want to be instead of someone I can’t be.

I begin to see my power disguised in what I can’t and won’t do. Frankly, it’s been a lot of work being a sex kitten.

If I judge myself with the eyes of the 25 year old me, I disregard all my learnings and earnings getting here. Being called Mom doesn’t always actually suck. Can’t vouch for my son’s take on this but he’d probably agree.

I can only look to the future for the changes I’ll be proud of. They’re the only changes I’ll be able to make.

I revel in these choices, the ones I can make. The ones I couldn’t make, like who my parents weren’t and what their genetics did to me, certainly can be seen to mean something more. But they still are what they are.

I am what I am and daily, I find the beauty and humor in just being me… here… now. “Sometimes that’s all we have”, said the friend who fell out of my life.