I have many fears and some of them seem to continue to show up despite all the work I’ve done. I am still afraid that if I create something, I won’t be able to keep up with and maintain it. This pretty popular fear has to do with both fear of success and the imposter syndrome. Read my out and out admission of this here. And is solely routed in not believing I am enough.
I can see that I have proven this fear false when it comes to blogging. I might not have done it well, at least in the beginning, but I haven’t missed a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday post in a very long time because my audience has my word. Consistent writing has in fact been the key to becoming a better writer and trusting myself to follow through with my projects and promises.
I’m still feeling Fear #449 in my aspirations to lead, specifically in the creation of a Shalavee private Facebook group. So many people start things they can’t finish and I refuse to be that person. I am a reluctant leader because if you ask people to follow you, you better have enough time to show up daily for them. As a mother, I’m always wary of how much time I truly have that’s “extra”. Yet my whole existence is an interwoven pattern of tasks done on borrowed time. It all seems to get done.
So I think it becomes a matter of disproving your own negative self-sabotaging theory once and for all. What if I sink? Yes, but what if I fly? Not knowing may somehow be worse. I am not some ego-maniac claiming skills I don’t have. And grit is about showing you can work through and rise above. It’s about telling yourself you believe you can, even if you have your doubts, so that you can prove you wrong.
As with my children, I want to give them the space to accomplish and grow and that doesn’t happen unless we let go of the perfect and march straight into the unknown armed only with who we are and the knowledge of what we’ve already accomplished.
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2 Comments
Love this, I struggle with the same thing, I am sure a lot of us do and without even knowing it. I can hardly keep up on Photo a Day Challenges, let alone any writing in my journal. I am though beginning to see the benefits of taking the time to do those things for me. So Bravo Love for facing those fears and making things happen, you are Enough!!!!
I find I do end up rising to whatever challenge I put myself to. It’s just giving myself permission to fail or succeed. I perceive leadership as being such a big important role but I think people are also more resilient than I’d credit them with. I’m sad that maybe our expectations of leaders are low anyway. Thank you Allie!