Before 9am on day one of my challenge, I was in the craft room ready to get crafting. I had “cleaned up” the day before clearing just enough space to make more mess. I’d also made some more water-colored encyclopedia pages with Fiona to collage with. Including her in the painting process had worked out then so I was hoping to just roll through my creative time easily.
All was well for a little while. She wanted to do more painting in the encyclopedia. Set her up, go back to doing something. Follow a whim, making a thank you card. Eventually, my focus is shifted back to her. She wanted to play with the fairy. Two minutes later, the fairy had no arms. In an attempt to super glue them back on, I spilled the glue all on my bench and on my hand. I was now irritated. Never give a two year old something you care about but don’t be irritated with her if you do and she breaks it.
The irritation was from the familiar “I told you so” dialogue lurking.
That dialogue might go something like, “And this is why I don’t even try to create while Fiona’s around. It’s just too much work and ideally I’d rather just create without distractions”. And while I agree to the ultimate wishful truth in this statement, I call foul. Because this is the same true/false statement that I’ve used the whole time I’ve raised a baby and have not been creating.
This Creativity Bootcamp is my self-appointed lesson in How to do Both. How to parent and carve out time for myself. How to drive through the wreck because Sister, that wreck is inevitable. As dear young creative entrepreneur Caroline Kelso recently said when speaking about what insight failure gives you,
“And that’s why I hope you create too. Because you have to.
Because even the possibility of failure can’t deter you from bringing your ideas to life”.
Because when you ask yourself if it’s alright if you just don’t try again after that failure and the answer is a really obnoxious “NO”, you keep going. I pushed through. After the poopy diaper happened. I kept at it. While the cat was walking over my bench and nestling into the basket with paper odds and ends. Despite Fiona grabbing everything in sight and throwing it on the floor. And even though I had to pee really badly. I made four cards. Three as thank you’s to dear ones in my life for the loveliness they gave me on my recent birthday. And one is for the Etsy shop. That’s right. Because why wouldn’t I use this opportunity to get myself over that fear hump too.
Stay tuned for a post a day every day of the month of October and more creative insights.
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And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.
