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Zombie Baby

Newborns are like zombies. Maybe it’s me missing those last Walking Dead episodes. But there are some uncanny similarities.

No one mentions this but those weird dark eyes we are born with are kinda creepy. Have you seen the opening montage for the Walking Dead and that sudden shot of the black eyeball twitching about? Aha.

Secondly, she’s trying to eat me alive. Albeit with the cutest little bowed lips and hopeful gulping sounds. But eating alive is eating alive.

And then there’s those weird jerking movements. You know the lurching and twitching and flailing that zombies do even if they are missing a torso. The spastic movements of a newborn are eerily similar.

The insatiable need for you is last on the zombie-alike list. Their hunger to have you satisfy their continued existence. Husband said she was like a vampire, sucking on his neck and staying up at night and we called her Fionicula at first. But zombies have an undying need for you too. The need for your brains.

Willingly and happily we invite zombie babies to come live with us. And they do and then proceed to eat our brains, one sane brain cell at a time, for the rest of our lives. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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7 Responses to “Zombie Baby”

  1. Y says:

    Heheeee! Willingly and happily indeed. Best zombie invasion ever.

  2. kathy says:

    Dang, she looks like her brother!

  3. michelle says:

    What are these brain cells you speak of?

  4. adamjasonp says:

    Looking at this again, it just made me laugh.

    The comparison is unmistakable, the way infants with undeveloped brains move their eyes around and want to put your brains— ahem, anything in their mouths.

    • Thank you dear sir for your acknowledgement and substantiation. I don’t think the general public is ready for the invasion but we are. We’ll temper our terror with good humor when the apocalypse hits.
      Love,
      Shalagh

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