There are two lovely young women that I know that are both expecting miracle babies. Both did not really believe this was going to happen and probably are still holding their breath on occasion. But it’s real, one’s expecting a boy and the other a girl, and I thought I’d do a baby round-up sorta post for them to share some of the tidbits of wisdom I’d posted for the miracle baby expecting and having.
When my friend Claudia was having her first of two miracle babies, I wrote this article entitled A Few More Baby Tips. This was a follow-up to one called The Irk Is In the Details. These contain all the good stuff. From your yucky body stuff to what the heck they’re doing when they do that. It’s all so scary and confusing and you need to know that someone’s got your back either to keep your baby alive while you take a walk out of earshot. Or to dole out hardcore good advice when you are sleep deprived and out of ideas.
Before the baby was born, we signed up for something called Mealbaby. Here’s my Mealbaby post on this marvelous concept where people can sign up to come visit you and bring you food when you most need the support right before and right after the baby is born. You deserve the help and the support and I was so happy I did it as you can read and feel from this post.
And in case you want to see the post I wrote after we brought Fiona home from the hospital, here’s that one called Ooh Baby Baby.
As you get into the swing of things (aka trial by baby fire) you’ll forget to take a shower here and there or snip off your jagged fingernail. Or brush your teeth. Or eat well. And this bit below is my way of offering a reminder to you that you still matter. Alot !
When you have a baby, there is a sucking vortex that drags you into a gauntlet of physical and emotional challenges much worse than those Japanese obstacle course shows. Seen those? Where they’re jumping onto giant bobbing floats in huge pools of water dressed in costumes and you know there’s no possible way they can gain enough speed to jump and land on them and actually stay on top. But they’re trying so hard because there’s a huge prize. And they will fall and make you cringe every time.
In Momland, the huge prize is just keeping the baby alive. Aspire to nothing else and you are still an overachiever. You do this at all costs and eventually you have completely forgotten that you are a person who needs sleep or showers or a day off. No one can understand why you are so weepy or jumpy or crazed except other Mothers or people who’ve been on the front line and in the trenches. And people’s pity only helps so much and then you’re alone again.
I am not a victim or a martyr of my circumstances.
So many people have stories of coming out of this with a realization that to be the happy present Mommy you want to be, you have to take care of yourself and your basic needs at least. After being in the trenches, a pedicure may seem fluffy and frivolous but it is necessary. Since Fiona was born, I have gotten more of those than ever before. I just treated myself to one this week. But it’s also taking care of your body in the serious ways too.
And in taking care of myself, my alone time needs, my exercise needs, and my mental and physical “indulgences”, I am not a victim or a martyr of my circumstances. I do not ask anyone to take care of me. It is up tome.
And for a laugh, this post entitled Zombie Baby will bring back the levity you lost when you had this creature erupt forth from your body and forever alter the bliss and peace you knew as your life.
Ok, so this is some of what I’ve got. I hope that it helps you out and that if you need any more, you’ll text or call. You never need to be alone with your fearful thoughts as long as a friend is on the other end of a phone. You’ll do fine keeping that baby alive and that’s all that matters. She’ll want to sit on your head constantly and be your baby accessory, but that’s par to that baby putt putt course.
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