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Their Needs Come First, Then Come Yours

I love that feeling you have when you’ve successfully gotten away, had time to unwind and relax, and gained some perspective on your life. You return with fresh eyes and see your life a little differently. And that is so not what I got from my recent vacation. Not in the least. I got exhaustion and irritation and the knowledge that no matter what, it’s not about my expectations ever. It’s about making sure that my children’s needs and delights are taken care of first. hey I did go on the vacation too from shalavee.com

Despite that a person never really feels like putting everyone in a bathing suit and slathering them with sunblock, you are going to do just that. You, the most awesome vacation planning parent will suck it up so they have two opportunities to go to the beach and two opportunities to go to the pool in the two days you are there at the beach in the expensive hotel that you wished you could enjoy ALONE. You may just have to lower your expectations and remember children don’t care where you eat as long as they’re fed in a timely fashion. And your toddler is just as happy watching the same movie in the hotel room that they watch at home every day.Digging in the sand at OC MD on Shalavee.com

Fact is, if you want to relax and unwind, you are not bringing your children. You spoil them because that’s what you should do on a vacation. And they won’t mean to be ungrateful, they just will be. They’ve got it good and they’ll never see it that way. Yes, they’ll be out of their element, have to poop or pee but won’t, and will be exhausted and overstimulated. You will spend an inordinate amount of time caring about and making sure their needs are met to the exclusion of you own. This will not be your vacation, it will be theirs.Fiona sitting in the pool in #OCMD on shalavee.com

So, I’m looking for a vacation still. Maybe just an overnight on your couch. A glass of wine on a porch of a place where my children aren’t. A conversation about something I find interesting that my husband doesn’t. Anyone?

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6 Responses to “Their Needs Come First, Then Come Yours”

  1. KB says:

    you got it, sister. Come on over and relax on the dock. It’s shaded right around 5:00 pm this time of year. (How convenient.)

  2. adamjasonp says:

    I’d say it’s half-right to put “their needs” first.  In emergency situations, the parent has to survive, no question.  There is no right answer in my mind to the question as to who comes first, really.

    I’d rather think of it in terms of “growing”: you cannot put all the focus on one thing, one person; that would be an obsession.  Sure, your kids need you, and… then they need you… and they need you.  (There is a lot of priority on how much they need you.)  But so does your husband, your close friends, and with utmost importance, you need you.  Just breathe… and that’s a top priority—breathing…

    • Shalagh says:

      Very well said Jason. And yes, you need to take the oxygen from the mask dropping into your lap before you put it around your little darling’s face, It’s a tightrope this one. They can’t be your everything and neither can you,
      Love,
      Shalagh

  3. Jennifer says:

    If my couch was closer I’d say, “Come on over!”

    • Shalagh says:

      Summers with kids are rough Jen. I can’t wait for the blessed routine of school and the lowered expectations of fun fun fun. And if there’s one couch I know I could get a fabulous glass of wine upon, it’d be yours. Sigh. Soon enough, OK? And Danke Schoen !!

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