Seems almost criminal that some women like myself, when we become mothers, suddenly become self-doubting imploding Mommys. I mean women who were successful in the corporate realm, women who brought home paychecks and held job titles, when they are faced with the relentlessness and chaos of parenting, feel like incompetent losers. Happens to a lot of women.
There we are, the most important people to the future people of the world, and self-doubts and feelings of overwhelming incompetency crumple us. And we are rendered incapable of doing our best mothering as we attempt to recover from the incredible self-doubt that this overwhelming job has caused.
I’ve spoken to two other women this week who also suffered from post-postpartum depression after their babies were born. Alone, isolated, without a good support group, no matter if you’re young or old, rich of poor, it can and will happen to you. Bad things can happen but in our cases, we each got through and eventually became aware. Should I have had more people to help? Absolutely. Should I have been on medication? You betcha. Did I recognize this very common condition in myself? Not at all.
I’m out of the woods, sprinting across the meadow of my second child and now my purpose has bloomed and I understand the power of just saying “Ouch”. Of being OK with not being OK. The strength it takes to admit your own “weakness”. And then to go about doing everything and anything to gain a hand hold on Hope. I want to feel good about the job I’m doing as a mother. And I want our children to not think it’s their fault because Mommy’s not feeling like being a Mommy today. I want us to have fulfillable expectations of our abilities and our capacities. And I want my kids to know that I’m human and doing the best that I can.
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