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Let Me Tell You Where I am Now

Let me tell you where I am now.

I’m sitting in my craft room. My laptop is in front of me and I’m perusing my journal trying to grab on to something of interest to write about. I’m good with the writing as long as I’m interested in the subject.

In an hour, Fiona will descend the yellow school bus stairs for only the second time. Her Pre-K year has begun. Let me tell you where I am now on Shalavee.com

Let me tell you what Pre-K means to me

I was a new blogger when I got pregnant with her. So the blog and my writing talents have been worked on and developed parallel with her growing up. Like the blog is her sister. Except, were you to ask me if the she or the blog comes first, it would probably always be her. The trick was to not use raising her as an excuse to not continue my writing the blog if just to keep up the practice.

Let me tell you what that means

Now in the light of having time rolling out in front of me to get down to some deeper and more intensive writing. I’m freaking out. In a good way and a bad way.

Of course, I’m ecstatic because having time to myself is the one thing I crave beyond really good food and entertainment. I’m giddy and gearing up to find out what I really do think about hope and healing and good change in my soul. Conversely, I’m terrified that I’ll squander this time I’m being gifted by laying down and letting my fear keep me from showing up. Paralysis in the face of progress and vulnerability has been an MO before.Let me tell you where I am now on Shalavee.com

Let me tell you what I’m doing differently

I got a book out of the library that had been recommended to me titled Deep Work by Cal Newport. The idea is that the world is on this awful slide to promote the shallow. This means that people who do deeper more thoughtful work are going to be needed more than ever as people’s brains start to shortcut and short-circuit for lack of proper usage. I am betting that I have some pretty cool stuff inside me that I need time and flow to find out. And all the methods and techniques I gleaned from this book will be put into use to guarantee that I hedge my bets on success. You kinda need a game plan to keep yourself engaged. Our brains are feeble as well as untapped.

Let me tell you, I’m scared

When we attempt to be our truest selves, there may be shrieking harpie voices that tell us we’ll die if we continue. That’s just the primitive part of our brain kicking in to keep ourselves safe from tigers and social ridicule. In that moment when we accept or don’t accept the emotions as fact, we could get to move on and gain confidence in the fact that we were vulnerable and did it anyway. That’s the story I want to be telling.

My daughter faced her first day at Pre-K. That’s some pretty scary stuff. Each of us and the fears that we face are specific to where we are. First day of Middle school, high school, college, and getting married all include scary unknown factors that seem insurmountable to us at that point in our lives. But it’s all relative. We just need to acknowledge our inner compass and keep moving.

Hope this give you perspective. On me or you, doesn’t matter. We all need a little perspective every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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It’s My Blog and I’ll Write What I Want To

Like so many, I question my own motivations on why and what I’m doing. Is it for me or my friends or my family or my readers that I chose the subjects I write about. I do have moments of self-doubt where I wobble with thoughts of will this be interesting to others or is it just for me?It's My Blog and I'll Write What I Want to on Shalavee.com

Either you’re doing your living (and your writing) for yourself or you’re trying to people-please. You certainly can entertain others while you are being true to yourself but not the other way around. You can not solely try to make others like you and have that be a fulfilling life.

Often what I write about is a true reflection of exactly where I am in my life. The subjects I muse are real and current. I am as real as you get and I not only like it that way, I’m going to have a hard time giving that up. So for now, I won’t. It's My Blog and I'll Write What I Want to on Shalavee.com

I will always produce my thoughts and reflections on my life in the most honest fashion I can. I will also be adding more quality to my offerings with newsletters and incentives to share this wealth with friends. In my knowing that this has value to me and some, I think those who need the ahas and support here will find their way here.

There are some shifts coming as I am allowed more alone time to think deeper thoughts, I expect to be able to offer more value to my reader yes, but first to myself and my confidence. The goal of self-confidence is on my top five list. And you get a front row seat to the live action. Well almost.It's My Blog and I'll Write What I Want to on Shalavee.com

Sign up for the email or newsletters, tell me how you found me and what you are working on in the comments or on any social media you find me on.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Discontent

When I’m thinking and writing, it seems everyday in fact, I’m processing what I consider to be a truth and adding to that or changing what I think. My philosophy is always a work in progress and because I live in a slight state of discontent. I have moments of good enough but I am always aware there’s more to know and learn.

I don’t accept everything I see and hear. I am always considering not only the validity of what I hear but what it means to me personally. Does that correspond or contradict with what I believe? Is there something that is bugging me to know more about? I collect and sit with a lot of information and am becoming increasingly mindful of any feelings that are generated. Those are also signs to pay attention to, good and bad.The Discontent on Shalavee.com

My discontent is not a bad thing but rather a curiosity of what I might find that could be helpful and the acknowledgement that change is necessary and ongoing. My good friend once said, “Life is Organic”which simply sums up the ever-changing and morphing philosophy and lifestyle that I embody. My life is a work in process, in progress. I am in search of what it means to live creatively and what my community is. I hope you are a member of the audience I’ve created that will share and contribute to this process and progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Battling Against the Becoming

I am the caterpillar inching my way along fueled by the promise of flying one day. But all that potential to fulfill that flight is so scary. Everyone will be watching me! Maybe the beautiful butterfly that I could become is poisonous and very dangerous … to others and myself. And so, I fight the becoming, eschew the wings, and ignore the chrysalis phase. And moan and wail as I see others flying by.

I chatter at myself, trying to pick the lock of myself. I query and banter, I call out and disagree. I cancel and ask for permission and still I can not seem to relinquish the fear that grips me around doing what I “have to do”, Supposed to Vs. Want. What must I do to bring down these defenses and make my life a fearless siege of what I want to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

I come back to my vision, my plan for my future. A summary of what I believe (a book) and sharing these thoughts with others (speaking engagements and magazine pieces). It all sounds so noble and doable. My heart on my sleeve and everyone chanting “Yes !”… while I search the crowd for the one person who’s going to lunge out and reveal my shortcomings, my illegitimacy, and my lack of pedigree. And I just beat them to the punch by not walking the walk didn’t I?

This is between me and me. I’m standing in my way. I’m coaxing and cajoling, I’m berating and stating, and still I stand here. And then there’s the little voice that says run while she’s not looking. Pull the band-aid off quickly! Just do it and then over think it. Knuckle down and fake the passion because whatever you are avoiding is usually the one thing you truly need to do. battling against the becoming on Shalavee.com

Hope you can figure out how to get out of your own way. Lemme know your tricks please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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A Wise Why

I am busy re-assessing why the heck I’d want to get anything published. It’s all been so painful with the asking to be rejected kind of stuff, I had to stop cold and reconfigure my why. Because if it’s for your approval, I’ve discovered, it’s not going to work for me. A wise why is my better bet. And it’s all in the way that I frame it for myself. I pondered this before here and the truth there is compelling. But I am still stuck.

I think we all have a tendency to put ourselves in auto-pilot. We head for the thing that we think we should be doing. And it’s also possible to head for the same goal but for a completely different reason. And that’s a shift I have been hard at work making; changing out my why.If my why has always been for my approval, it takes some willful rerouting of my brain to switch that to doing it for my happiness.A wise why on SHalavee.com

This year, I claimed courage as my word of the year. I did it in the hopes that I would feel more courageous to submit pieces to online magazines by claiming courage as my word. Hah! So I have now handed it over to my Mastermind group in the hopes that accountability would be a budge. And I think it’s actually working.

Yesterday I read a brilliant suggestion to write a letter to your stalled goal and see if you could flush out some new perspective on where your why you had gone awry. And this is what I came up with.A wise why on SHalavee.com

Dear Writing Submission Goal,

You are a noble goal, a worthy goal. When I first created you, you were the highest most validating goal I could come up with. I would be a writer if I was published.

What I failed to understand though was that publishing, or submitting to published, can not be for anyone but me. My amusement, my happiness, and my approval needs to be the first priority. And until I sorted out what and who all this effort was for, I wouldn’t take you back up again.

I am slowly finding my way back to you in a way that feels honest. I have discovered my talent truly now. I believe what I say has foundation and worth and that it’s better than many others getting published currently. When I do get published, it will be for my merit. I believe  being published will further my progress towards so many other worthwhile opportunities.

I want you to know I still believe in you, I’m just changing out your frame.

              Love,

              Shalagh “

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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