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The Subtleties of Shifts

Life’s best asset and worst downfall is that it takes its sweet time. That it is relentless in its expansive pardoning of our mistakes. Every day is a new day to start over seems like too much wiggle room for screw ups. But it also means that the daily monotony can lead to imperceptible shifts. Stuff that would pass you by unless you were wise enough to go looking for it. Or someone else pointed it out to you.

Developing your mindfulness is a way of gaining another eye on your life and yourself. Being able to hold on for a beat more and instead of launching into reaction, to take a look at yourself and what you are about to do and perhaps choose something else. This is shift.

And then there’s just the blindness we end up when we’ve got our eye so hard on a prize that we truly want but don’t believe we will ever have. And we totally disregard all the progress that we have made because winning means a goal met and not the stuff in between. All or nothing thinking plagues me still.The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

Of recent, my computer had a behavior problem after its operating system got updated. And for a week now, I just assumed it ate my sticky notes, the little pretend post it notes on my desktop that hold some of the profound thoughts and understandings I have come across of recent. And now that they’ve been suddenly returned to my computer, I clearly see a shift that happened for me in the past six months.

And that shift was about valuing myself.

Here’s most of the quotes on my sticky notes.

I love and accept myself

I respect and honor myself

I can achieve anything I desire

I believe in myself

I deserve to be loved and respected by those around me

 

Even knowing that

you have the power

to change things

changes things. -Me-

The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

 

Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find

all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.

~ Rumi

You will be your own destiny and your own reason why.” -Me-

 

There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” ~ Brian Andreas

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” — Hafez–

I am struck by this shift in the value of myself. Was that what I was working on for all this time? Yes. Did I recognize how much I had begun to truly own that shift? No. The daily doing and expectations that we all subject ourselves to can truly bury the important stuff. If we aren’t giving ourselves the credit for the work we’re doing, it’ll feel like we’re standing still. If we keep raising the bar, we never see how much we’ve risen to meet it.

The Subtleties of Shifts on Shalavee.com

We are all moving, maybe at a slug’s pace, but moving all the same if we are doing the work we need to do to make this happen. The change in perceptions and the feelings we experience will take as long as they take to deliver us there. But in the end, we will arrive and, if our eyes are open, we’ll see we have endured the most amazing slow ride to get there.

Want to read more about Shifts?

Craving the Shift

The Shift : My Decision to Not Be Sucky

Awaiting the Shift from If to When

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Door That I’ve Been Staring At But Can’t Open

I love to learn. I take online course and do free email challenges. I read newsletters and watch people’s live webinars. I continue to gain my understanding of what myself and others can offer the world and why. But all that can not do the one thing I need to get me started. Give me courage. Sometimes the doing is getting past the fear. Sometimes it’s grabbing the door handle.

I watch dumbly as people explain to me the ways I can make my “business” “successful” and “stand out”. But here’s me saying “What business?” Do I want to be a business? Being a business sounds boring and a requires a lot of hoop-jumping and hard work. We creatives are a stubborn silly bunch. But that’s not the full truth of it.

I mentally understand that the world needs me and my message and my passion. Yet sometimes, I feel as if I’m standing at a door staring at the surface. I’ve memorized the cracks and the dirt I see. I’ve read about how you lift your arm and take the handle in your hand and turn the knob clockwise and push the door open. But my arm is incapable of lifting itself to even knock much less presume to open that door. The Door That I've Been Staring At But Can't Open on Shalavee.com

It ‘s as if I’m completely disconnected from the door, any reasons why I should open it, or if my hand and arm are even capable of turning the knob once it’s in my grasp. Not to mention, what if the promised land doesn’t exist on the other side. Paralysis sound familiar?

To say that I’ve got a lot of work to do is an understatement. But what I am proud of is that I seem to know exactly where my dysfunction lies. I know where the work is. And I think that is an immense plus in everyone’s life. Own your roadblock. Be there with the door. Hang a wreath on it. And ask for help over and over again in understanding why it is you need to open it, how you can want to, and for people to be cheering for you when you do open up your door.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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I Return to the Matter of Self-Value

I am always circling around to a question of my self-value. I stop short of setting goals or understanding my purpose for the simple fact that I do not understand my worth. I suspect I’m not alone in this either. So many women are waiting for permission to value themselves.

I picked up a self-development book by Rhonda Britten called Change Your Life in 30 Days, in which one of the daily tasks is to list five acknowledgements of things I’ve accomplished. And this seems to be a good task for refueling the self-value tank. So often, we would acknowledge anyone but ourselves for their contributions. But in crediting ourselves, we have actually added a value chip to our own pile. Continual practice of anything, “self-value-idation” included, will make you better at it. And I truly believe this is exactly where I need all my energy focused. I can’t truly contribute to the world unless I know the value of that contribution.

The next step for me will be to ask for validation from others. While my therapist says this is quite normal, the risk of being rejected and my value being refuted feels like a death wish. Definitely worth noting. But if writing is what I must do for the rest of my life, because the thought of not writing is now impossible, it seems a shame to waste my writing on only my ears. Might as well share it with an audience so that others may feel validated and inspired as well. Two for the price of one.I Return to the Matter of Self-Value on Shalavee.com

What I write is of meaning to me and I value the catharsis of the process. I’m endeavoring to increase my understanding of the value of my writing to know that what I write is everyone’s voice. Simple truths, Aha’s I find as I navigate my days are always of more soul value than any monetary worth. And by sharing them, I process and release them so that others may benefit from them as well.

So if you like what you have read, share it. Email a link to someone, share it on Facebook, or mark it to tell your sister-in-law about. Staying small and quiet has not truly ever benefited me. Nor am I a narcissistic megalomaniac who needs your approval to exist. But I have compassion for all those who feel isolated and alone and I don’t think this serves any one, surely not the next generation or the world. Our existence matters and we need to know it.

Perhaps you have a gift that you undervalue as well? Your thoughts are always appreciated here.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem

Back to my therapy office this week after a long hiatus, I asked my therapist to help me continue to work on my value. That seems to be one area that is slow to move and grow in. Kinda like when we ran out of gas on the highway that one time and even adding 5 gallons wasn’t enough to start the car. (Fuel injection is persnickety that way. I curse gasoline anyway.) Sometimes the progress is imperceptible and doesn’t feel like enough.

Once your supply of esteem gets down below a certain point, I think it takes a lot to pull it back up to a functional place. A lot! And it’s the kinda thing where I think I’ve filled it up and then something big and bad happens and I feel it draining out the holes of my self-doubt and then those little niggling lies that you’ve heard in your head all your life creep back in. And you’re toasty.Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem on Shalavee.com

I thought today how low self-esteem and not valuing your worth is the reason for a lot of the crazy things people do. There are people who create mirages of perfection online so that no one will see they aren’t perfect. There are people who manipulate you to like them by outright lying. And the bullyers are plopping their self-doubt on your head so they don’t have to look at it in their own hats. Nasty people, harassing people, and depressed people are all suffering from the same deficit of self-love. We know what this feels like so you’d think we’d be a little more compassionate?Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem on Shalavee.com

But when you are staring at your own bleak walls, it’s awful hard to think of anyone else but yourself. And that makes me know that to be of any help in the world, I need to not be operating from this dark place anymore. I can not help the world or anyone else if I don’t have my inner room cleaned up and a little brighter. So I again go in to fight the good fight for truth and value, being my own super hero and asking for the world to mirror me the truth of my worth. Because I think mostly, we are all good and a little broken. And I respect your process to find a better place to be if you aren’t happy where you are.

Who’s with me and where are you? Do you have a problem valuing you too?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Value of Doing and Seeing Things Differently

There’s a woman I’m social media friends with who has chosen to engage in a year-long project she has named her Year of Doing Things Differently. When I asked her about this concept, she said she’d seen it in a book at the library. I like this concept a lot.

I always say, “If you change nothing, nothing changes”. The phrase “doing things differently” is just another way of saying change but it sounds better somehow, more enticing. The problem is that our habits are so ingrained, they’re familiar and comfortable and we may honestly think there are no other options or ways to go about it. The Value of Doing and seeing things differently on Shalavee.com

The familiar feeling of being frustrated when I don’t achieve a certain outcome is a sure sign my expected results are at odds with my efforts. I may need to consider more options and bulldoze some of my excuses to make a change. Losing weight falls under this category.

But I’ve also discovered that our thoughts about our lives and capabilities and motivations can fall into a numbing and underwhelming pit for which I can not find an escape. In not seeing my value as an artist or citizen, I see limited or no possibilities for offering my talents to the world. Only in seeing the value of myself, do I find places where I can create and give out my gifts. I am building new value glasses right now.The Value of Doing and seeing things differently on Shalavee.com

I am shifting my understanding of who I am, where I stop, what I know, what I believe, and what I’m capable of. That is me changing my thoughts about how I fit into the world and the power I have. Doing things differently will naturally be followed by feeling differently and thinking differently. Because I’m long overdue for some new views of me and my world that I can proudly hand back to my children and my readers.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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