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Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition

I thought today about following my heart. I’ve listened more to myself when I have a day where there’s multiple choices which challenge me to listen honestly to my needs. For a long time, I have been led by what I think I should do and not what I really wanted to do. I suppose I had a problem trusting my inner child to tell me when I, acting as the adult, thought I knew better. Her wise little voice is my intuition. And there has been a conflict on whose voice I needed to be listening to.

While I was out recently running errands, I had a bunch of need to do’s and could do’s which were likely capped off by hunger. I was very wary of truly listening to myself and yet I knew it was necessary to allow my inner child and my wisdom to tell me what I really needed to have happen and in what order. I felt my doubt as I handed over the moment by moment decision-making to my inner gal to prioritize me a little more over the tasks.  But when I followed her suggestions, I developed a little more trust in myself. Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition on Shalavee.com

Does that seem weird? That I have never given myself that much credit or responsibility to make choices that I trust? Because so often my decisions have been made by the anxieties that my decisions and myself remained untrustworthy. The anxieties indicated that my decisions were being made for reasons outside myself or my truest happiness. For the approval of others perhaps? And so anxieties created decisions that were not aligned with my truest happiness and thus unreliable.

If I can’t trust that I’ll take care of me and my needs and making myself happy, I just can’t trust myself. Because ain’t nobody in this world, not my Mama or my husband even, that has the power to give me happiness. That starts inside me asking what will make me happiest today? And when I notice the little sparks of wonder about the world that I may like to explore, I am taking very special notice. They are the guideposts.Do You Think or Do You Feel : Trusting Your Intuition on Shalavee.com

I believe my Myers Briggs personality type was and still is an ENFP; Extroversion (equally Introversion)+ Intuition +Feeling + Perceiving. I’m described as “enthusiastic, imaginative, creative, warm, future-oriented, individualistic, insightful, caring, optimistic, possibility focused, open, novelty seeking, spontaneous, and playful.” These sound like a lot of them are my inner child’s strengths. It would behoove me to trust her and my intuition and let myself be guided to all the fun and inspiring projects in my future that I obviously need to look forward to. My inner adult can be a real Debbie downer apparently.

Funny because letting my intuition guide me was never something I thought I wasn’t doing. Now I’m going to be super mindful to stop and listen to any and all the thoughts that mention true happiness and trust. These are what I need to hear. My journal writing has given me this  insight and it was always free of charge. All this work so that I can trust I’m free and safe to be just me.


And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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What You Must Think of Me

 

It would be impossible not to consider what others think of me. Were I not a writer, you couldn’t prove I care. But I must care a little to want you to read what I’ve written. Or is it possible to be thankful that others approve but not base your own value on what others think. That has been a problem my entire life. Until now.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

Surely I can come off to some as a bit pompous and a loopy, talking about all this touchy feely stuff. Liberal spoutings of a girl who refuses to see what the world really is. But I submit that every last thing you see and perceive is based on your assumptions, your perceptions, and filtered by what you need to have it be.

My anxieties have run my picture show for a long long time. You may have noticed I am always busy. I kept busy, never had any ending so I didn’t have to hear what a crappy job I did. Never stop, never get criticized. I really cared too much about what you might think so I distracted you and me with busy. But unless that busy is satisfying for me, it never feels good.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

To be beautiful means to be yourself.

You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.
THICH NHAT HANH —

So this Christmas I gifted myself with the gift of no longer giving a shoot what anyone but me thinks. I can now trust myself to take care of my needs. My anxiety doesn’t run the show and so I am trusting in my decisions on my behalf for my happiness. Turns out happiness is the best everything.

And I’d like to think if it makes me happy, you’d be happy for me. Because what kind of world do I live in if I’m always frightened of the negative feelings I perceive everyone will have about me. Keep your mean to yourself and spread the nice. I hand out compliments because I love how they feel when I receive them. They’re candy to the soul. And everyone can use some soul candy every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Trust Your Own Weirdness

Scrolling through Instagram, my favorite spare time wandering place, I read a picture quote that said “Trust in your own weirdness.” I told Eamon to come look and he read it and said “Cool”. And here’s what I then said to him.

All their lives, people wish they had permission to just be themselves. They love/hate people who are uniquely themselves. So when you do your own weird thing, people will like you even more than if you are doing the thing that it seems everyone else is doing. And they’ll resent you for it because they don’t have permission.Weirdness on Shalavee.com

That urge to conform is built into our genetics. We need to be accepted and avoid being outcast from the tribe. Our acceptance by the group guarantees shelter and food. So the primal urge is to conform and live. Being different can cause your demise, your out-casting from your family bed. But for a creative, it’s necessary to heed that call. And so we often avoid our weird convinced we’ll die if we follow it.

Yet, in order for innovation and societal advancement to happen, we need people who think differently. People who risk their comfort zones to think up the tech and the tasks that advance us, cure us, enlighten us, and civilize us. And if we’d embrace our differences, our weird, we’d no longer war, persecute, or hate.Weirdness on Shalavee.com

So today, let’s be weirder than the other people. Let’s join together with other weird people and celebrate our weirdness together. Let’s band together in common causes and innovate our thoughts and processes to help the world advance. And lead our children by example showing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting our freak on every once in a while. Let’s be impressed and commend their unique views because those are what will inevitably change the world.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Confidence Video Talk

I am guided by the belief that if I show up and do the work I’m thinking about, I’ll know what to do next. Trying hard to just follow my inspirations and feelings where they lead me and then present them in my best words on my blog. A long time ago it occurred to me, that if I spoke my words out loud to camera, that may mean more to those I’m talking to. But the confidence to be on camera instead of behind it had not been bestowed upon me. Until now.

This has been a long time coming doing more in front of the camera. Ironically, the topic of this first intentional sit down is confidence. Confidence is complicated as it encompasses the concepts of trust and compassion. Do I trust myself to not be making a fool of myself? Do I trust that you’ll be kinder about my appearance than I (wearing the wrong shirt)? I guess I’ll have to take my hands off of it and let you draw your conclusions and inspirations. But you’ll certainly know my aim is true.

Here’s my 8 minute confidence talk. You’ll hear my take on building confidence, self-trust, and at the end you’ll find out what the opposite of judgement is. Thank you for watching and there’s a few links mentioned in the video at the bottom of the post. TURN YOUR VOLUME UP!

Hope you got a satisfying “Aha!” from this post. Below are a few links to some of the resources I mentioned. I’m thinking of going (read decided to go)  to Facebook and to do a live connection video every Friday. Essentially, I won’t have to do downloading to YouTube and people can chat at me while I talk.  And then it will be saved permanently. I’m saying Yes because I’m starting down this video road I’ve so long contemplated.

With Confidence.

Resources and Mentions

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

Confidence and Getting What You Ask For

While on the treadmill, of course, I remembered a phrase I’d heard that said, “Crazy is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome”. Like not losing the weight you’d hoped you’d lose but still doing the same exact exercises and eating the same things. Same people getting on your nerves saying the same things every day? Seems obvious to say “Join Weight Watchers” or “Get new people”. They’re no chance to build trust or confidence if the risk remains the same however.

I kinda sit back and do my thing and almost never ask for advice or help with my online stuff. Perhaps because I’m ashamed that I’m not fancier and further advanced with my blog. Like I have so many things I could be doing instead of asking for any advice or help. And that’s probably just another way of staying isolated. So last week, I did some different things differently. Children on the bridge on Shalavee.com

Two women who I admire greatly both offered to answer questions or give advice. And I went ahead and took them up on it. Because that would be something way different than I usually do and that is exactly the mixing it up I need. Plus they may not have even responded. But they did. And this was really validating.

Here’s the letter that I sent Caroline Kelso per her invitation:

Dear Caroline,

Having you generously offer up your support seems something I should not miss out on. Advice or support, I could infinitely use either.

I am also a member of the talky feely happy people club. And have found myself astounded at your community building skills. Reading the stats of your readership increase in your Made Vibrant download had me wondering how you did that so quickly. My “organic” approach of blogging and membership gathering has gotten me an official readership of 120. After 4 years. Because I never ask.

I’ve never done anything big like writing an e-book or a manifesto, or created an online challenge to gather people together {I have now} and then dangled it for the sign ups. Part of me wants a community to engender members with a sense of belonging, support, safety. And the other part of me is stuck in awe of those who can while saying I can’t.

I’m a natural leader. My why is to support and empower people. To inspire and acknowledge them. I twitch at all the Facebook groups I’ve seen peter out for lack of leadership. Whether FB or Slack, that is still a horse and the cart I need is a bigger following. The balls to say, “Hey, this stuff is great. Share it would ya’?”

And so that leads me back to, “How do you know what you have to offer is worth doing whatever you have to to achieve it’s offering. How can I frame the process in my mind to get excited, get around my fear brain. Because it’s about innovation and excitement and not money. Although I’m a creative and not a computer whiz, I feel like the real idea and plan and reasoning and confidence is all going to continue to elude me until I figure out how to value ME.

Whatcha Got? “

Eastern Shore field on Shalavee.com

I needed to make it OK to ask and what I got back was much more. She sent me a nice letter that said gather your email list and make sure that your blog clearly states what you are about so that people will immediate know that they want to join what you are doing. I’m doing neither. But the biggest loveliest gift was the next post she sent out to her subscribers with the tagline,

Lacking confidence? It’s about learning to TRUST yourself”

Click on the link to read her marvelous response to me and 39 other people who answered her query all asking her questions that boiled down to trusting yourself. She explains the mechanics of trusting yourself so well.

“The trust you have with yourself is what your confidence rests on.”

And how about…

“We have to demonstrate to ourselves that we are deserving of trust, and thus,

that our confidence is not misplaced.”

I can tell you, that was the exact gem I needed to read in my inbox. She references a talk about Trust by Brene Brown Super on Soul Sessions. That too warrants a look because WOW!! It’ll be the best 20 minutes you spent this week watching a screen. Young Caroline has hit all of this on the head. Again. These moments and opportunities to benefit from one another’s wisdom and insight, this is where the good stuff resides.

And coming up soon, I’ve decided to videotape my talking head as a follow-up discussion on the subject of Confidence. Because it’ll take confidence to do this and doing this will form trust in myself. That is what confidence is made of and can only be formed by repeating an action until you know “You’ve got this” (only permissible for me to say to myself though. I get grumpy when you say it).

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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