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Yes You Have Too Much To Do

Yes you have too much to do. Or should I say, I have too much I think I can do. The emails are piling up. There are stacks of unread magazines. There are outdated frozen soups in the freezer. And there are items in my closet that just don’t fit me well. There are dust bunnies with bad attitudes under our beds. And there are more important tasks than these looming in my future too.

As long as I’m still terrified of doing what I’m already putting off, then all those tasks get pushed back further because I have a priority hierarchy in my head. And when I add the yet to do list of tasks to get done before I go away on my trip or before the holiday event happens in my living room, I am drowning in my to do’s, Inundated with must do’s, and desperately wanting to be UN-inundated. Because vacations and holidays are supposed to be relaxing Damn it!yes you have to much to do on Shalavee.com

The trick to being UN-inundated is to actually do those things that you’ve put off. You need to take your fear and stare at it and tell it you will best it. Even beginning a dreaded task makes it less dreadful. It’s amazing how everything runs much more smoothly after that happens.

I did the hard things. Drove through the doubt storm. And I must say I was both pleased with myself and relieved and rattled by the fear which is my impostor syndrome stuff. But suddenly I was freed to go clean out my closet and my freezer. I redecorated for Fall and am about to go dye my hair.

Yes, you will get it all done if you keep at it. Drops in the bucket fill the bucket up. But what of the sabotage by overwhelm? Attempting to take on too much is a great and mean way to get yourself to feel like a failure.

In my blog post The Evil Organizer Date Planner , I said this about my over-achieving ways,

I saw a driveway today doubled up with two rows of cars that looked like they were all in need of some sort of repair. And I realized that that’s my mental driveway. With that many tasks to do, it will never look like I’m succeeding even though I am. In fact the opposite may be true. The amount of accomplishments I do get done daily is staggering considering all that is on my plate. And I’m the only one who can’t see this.”yes you have to much to do on Shalavee.com

It’s one thing to say I really expect too much of myself, and it’s a complete change of lifestyle to actually weed away the overwhelm. And especially at Christmas when we’re all expected to be event planners, it’s easy to lose perspective on exactly how much we’re asking ourselves to do on top of all the rest of life’s necessary tasks. I have been a Superwoman all my life who never gave herself credit for the miraculous things I did. So this season, I’ve an eye on me to be mindful of what is enough and what is too much.

Did I mention we’re going out for Thanksgiving dinner?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Christmas Gift To Me

(From Christmas 2013)    PMS, a full moon, and Christmas aren’t a good combo. Even with a whole lot done, I felt incomplete and irritated at everything this past week. Not feeling the ho ho ho in the holiday tone. Here I had a beautiful baby, everything to be grateful for, and I felt resentful. What?stroller smile

I want to judge it and yet I can’t when it may be telling me something needs an adjustment.

I’ve been feeling more jazzed than ever to move ahead on my blog. Take the next step. I planned to use all the pictures I’d already taken, enjoy an afternoon or two of all out creativity and take more pictures. I’d have blog posts for days.

Then life happened to me. A ton of “do-this-befores“, baby interruptions, and regular chores. When I missed my dental cleaning appointment, I had a fit. I would not be writing all those blog posts I’d intended to. The timeliness of them had passed anyway. I still had no help with the baby. And all the “Making Big Blog Plans for 2014” posts was making me feel crappier.DSC02394 - Copy

By yesterday, 4 days until Christmas, I was saying, “I think I might need some time off.” Time to contemplate 2014, paint my fingernails, read a magazine, create time and brain space. Relax. Be. Breath.

I keep thinking of a scene in the Color Purple where Oprah’s character Sophia drives her mistress’s car to visit her children. She hasn’t seen them in a heartbreakingly long time. It could be the holiday season. Only when they get there, the woman freaks out. Sophia has to drive her away unable to spend time with her loved ones. It’s heart wrenching. And familiar. To be within reaching distance of the one thing that will make you happy and have to leave it.

closet shot

I desperately need creative time. I know I went and had me a baby and that is what it is. There are ways around this attention conflict. Expectation adjustments are up to me. Meeting my needs? Up to me. Letting things go that are standing right in my way? Up to me. Do your best, let go of the rest.

My present to myself will be to list out my responsibilities as if they were expenditures and overview my task budget. I may be spreading myself too thinly. And diluting my potential for greatness I feel capable of. I suspect I may just need my own permission to be great.

(And for a little Christmas Picture Prettiness, check out my final Christmas Decor Extravaganza post from last year.)

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Case of the Busyness

My friend and I were having a heart to heart, that spill your overwhelm kinda talk. I’ve heard these words before from both her and myself and of course my suggestion is first to get it all out of your head and on to paper. Lists reorganize and rend the tendrils from you mind so that you may see what you’re truly dealing with. And she said, “Yes, but…”.

But the busy may just be a disguise for the stuck. For the balking of making the deeper more decisive decisions. What if busy is the easy path? We can distract ourselves with busy thereby avoiding the issues that scare us. The choices that might mean change, for good or bad.A Case of the Busyness on Shalavee.com

Our busy has become a subterfuge, a shallow pool to thrash around in and distract us from the exact things that may need more time and more effort but also may bring relief from our perpetual activity and anxiety. Our busy’s a ruse. I eloquently wrote about this state of my being last year here.

So I suggest, pick the one thing that you need to do to make a big difference, in how you feel about your life, in your competence, or in your environment. And then unplug everything (literally or figuratively), set yourself a timer for 20 minutes, referred to as the Pomodoro Technique, and start. Shove fear right on its butt and out of your way and tell yourself you are making a difference today. And when that 20 minutes is up, go pee or get a drink, and set that timer for another 20 minutes and keep going. A Case of the Busyness on Shalavee.com

Today can actually be the most productive day of your life if you only get out-of-the-way of the busy and let it be. I always know the exact thing that scares me the most. And I’m gearing up to do some Don Quixote days soon on that stuff. Would you like to join me and kick some windmill butt too? Tell me here or somewhere what you’re avoiding and let’s all support each other in moving the heck on with it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Achievement Addiction on Hiatus

My husband and I are from the same camp of hard work. In fact I’d say we’re both addicted to the feeling of accomplishment we get after completing our projects and tasks. So much so that to not be crossing off items from a to do list may feel slightly like failure. There’s no doubt, we’re achievement addicts.

We apparently have forgotten about the “being” part of human being in our drive to do. And thus, there will never be enough “done” to get the feeling we matter. It’s a hamster’s treadmill of promises we overachievers get caught on. It will all be perfect after this project gets done.

And then along comes Summer.

Summer is a concept/mode in which you are asked to relax. It demands you become a relaxed outdoor person with nonchalance and a tan. You are supposed to stop focusing on your list and unplug. Really? Yet, As hard as it is to let go of the “going going” and “doing doing”, I secretly sigh with relief because when Summer comes because it’s just the excuse I need to give myself permission for some long thwarted relaxation.Outdoors person on Shalavee.com

This year I saw Summer coming and prepared myself. I took care of all my self-care items to begin to prepare for the mandatory mood shift, all while still accomplishing my list. Proactivity at its finest. And then I invited friends over to christen the start of the relaxing and celebrating season with an all day chat-fest. And that felt like I’d accomplished a lot for the group of us. We all needed it.

I’d taken care of all my chores in preparation for the gathering. My floors were vacuumed, my shopping done, and my laundry caught up. And I was able to allow for me to do something I wanted to do and not just something I had to do.  I sat all day and laughed and drank and entertained and I was a Being. And I’m thinking this is the way to do Summer alright.My tribe in my backyard on Shalavee.com

So for all you Doers, who are reading this and thinking you probably need to do more for you. You do. I told my husband the other day that you can’t get more work out of a dead mule. Let Summer give you permission to have a seat and not do laundry today. Or ask someone else to make dinner (call for carry-out) and go chat with an old chum on the phone for hours. These are messages to yourself that you are worth more than the sum of you check marks. You get to enjoy and relax just as much as the rest of the world on holiday.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Get To Work Self

I’m pretty good at thinking and dreaming tasks and projects up. Those ideas flood my brain all the time. What I’m not good at is taking all of those notes and plans and concepts and then organizing them, prioritizing, and scheduling them.

I have several folders and two journals that sit by my chair. I write down most everything I am inspired by or am considering. And then the folders and notebooks eat my genius. More thoughts are then piled on which may or may not make it onto a to-do list or a goals list. Remember, there’s no good system in place for anything. Fiona sleeping on me on Shalavee.com

To you, I may look like I’m getting stuff done but in my world, I’m a scatterbrained mess whose efficiency sucks. I’m an uber-creative who forgets herself. Oh and a mother of a two-year old. Brain muddled.

I do notice that when I do conquer my fear of my goals and then list out my why and the steps to my goal, I am much more likely to meet and complete it.  Dare I say Duh? And the family is more likely to eat dinner on time if I plan my meals and prep even a little ahead.

I am not a huge fan of listing out everything I think I can do today. Or I used to be. Made me feel grand and ambitious. But now, if I’m unable to complete even just half of my proposed tasks, I’m liable to feel like a failure for the incompletion than focus on the accomplishment. On the other hand, if I don’t aim for the achievement of any goals, as in “put it on the calendar and if I can I will”, then a lot of stuff won’t even be attempted much less completed.kids on the dlide on Shalavee.com

I sound like the guy who keeps stepping on rakes. And this is what I’m now going to tell myself. The reason that I’m not plotting out these ideas is because, behind the scenes, my self-esteem and self-assurance are still dragging. There’s a great big gap between what I want to do and what I think I can or can’t do and fear creeps into the crack between and takes a hold. That’s why those precious thoughts are thrown away or abandoned.  I could have a great organizational system if I felt I was worthy of success. Busted.

I have a new organizational tool awaiting me for the new year. It’s the Get To Work Book created by Elise Blaha I bought for myself as a birthday present. It’s time to begin to use it to schedule my January goal steps. It was expensive so there’s a big motivation. I love Autumn because it feels like such a great excuse to come inside and regroup. And to take the time off from “succeeding” to do this rethinking and organizing. To forgive yourself and to gather friends near to garner the support for your next risk.

I know I’ve asked this before but do you have a system? Do you love/hate lists too? Do you like the fall as much as I do and naturally just contemplate yourself and your direction at this time? Do you have fear of success like me?

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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