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Take the Time Now

How often do I look at my email, poke a few mail items gone, and then say I’ll come back and clear out the whole thing later. This happens 25 days out of the month and maybe once a month I actually read what’s in there, apply it where necessary, get the sparkly clean email box certificate for cleaning it, and start all over. But by this point, the cleaning out takes me staying up until midnight.

My husband’s wall pocket over the desk has been an eyesore with overflowing undone filing until our taxes were done yesterday. We’d even bought him an expanding file to file the receipts away as he received them. But he chose to lean right instead of left and put them up there instead of down in the file. Literally, the only difference and extra effort would have been to open a drawer and look for the proper tab to drop the paper behind. Take the time now on Shalavee.com

Your destiny is shaped in your moments of decision.”


― Innocent Mwatsikesimbe , The Reason –

I keep putting my daughter off. “Will you play with me” she pleads. But I say “no”, I have to go do important Mommy stuff now little sister. Oh sorry, Big Sister. Except that if I were to lean into that request and indulge her for ten minutes, she’d happily leave me alone for the rest of the day. So the proactivity of paying full attention to her or any other of the many tasks I delay every day, could end up making my life a little easier. Being present can be a present and keep you from dragging your indecision and laziness into a future spot to torture you more. Instead of dreading, head the task off at the pass and you’ll be not only doing more but proud of yourself.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Time Alone With Me

It was like waiting for a fix. That last moment when the children were buckled up, the car door was closed, and I was waving goodbye from the porch. I could almost hear the shriek of glee in my brain at the thought of being free for a few hours in my own house where I’d been captive for the Thanksgiving holiday with a sick child. Post traumatic stress was threatening to move in again like it did when she was little and sick during the snowstorm. And I wanted no part of that feeling of disengagement and numbness again.time alone with me on Shalavee.com

All I want for my birthday and Christmas and Mother’s Day is time to myself. Time to write and catch up on email reading and play in my craft room. One day I may even like to watch a movie but it always feels wonderful to sit down and write. To schedule and sketch and think and hope. The luxury of all this was lost on my single self. Not now. Not ever again.time alone with me on Shalavee.com

I am savoring the rush and jangle of the heat vents, the puddles of sunshine in the house, that it’s 9:13 am and I’m still in my pajamas and there’s no one here that needs anything from me but me. And she’s getting her requests because she’s the most important person here today. At least for another hour before I have to go drink wine with my girlfriends. Woohoo!!!time alone with me on Shalavee.com

Hope you got you some you time too!!!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Dread, the Doing, and the Daring

In my current mode of mindfulness, I am aware of the way I’m feeling about my daily tasks. The accomplishment of laundry, cooking, or writing feel differently when you apply different filters. There seems to be three modes I go into when I’m task mastering myself to get things done. The first is dread, the second is just doing, and the third is the daring. barbie-bathing-in-crayons on shalavee.com

When I’m in Dread mode, I am not feeling proud of what I’m doing. I feel overwhelmed and put upon and resentful. My inner six year-old would rather be doing anything else, I’m not going to be proud of my outcome, and I may not do a very good job.

The Doing Mode is a more “Be Here Now” mode. It’s getting through knowing it needs to be done. Keep my head down and just keep going.  It’s boom, boom, boom, and next. Fold, fold, fold, and wash, wash, wash, and next. Get her done so we can get on to the other things that need doing. penguine-city on Shalavee.com

But daring mode is the way you get to feel like a superpower. If you dare to put more into your schedule by actually scheduling it. If, after lunch, instead of doing the dishes immediately, you go and create a piece of art or make that one phone call you’ve been dreading to get it over with (ahem, scheduling my colonoscopy), you will begin to create powerful magic in your perception of your life and your time. The magic of pro-activity is that you shift your mindfulness to possibility instead of resentment. And you go from thinking you haven’t enough time, to getting it all done and then some. In being conscious of what my mind is thinking and how I feel about it, I begin to reform my habits and my perception of my day’s expenditure from dread to glad. That is mighty powerful Doing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Opposite of Scarcity is Enough

I can hear myself saying more more more, not enough. The house is never clean enough, fixed enough, or redecorated enough. My body is not thin or young or tan enough. My efforts to succeed as a writer, blogger, online maker are not ever enough. And so every day I come up short and scared. If I am not enough, I am plain afraid you’ll find out.

I have lived my life at a deficit for years. All of those thoughts have been real and gone through my head. The standards by which I am comparing myself to are randomly based on an American ideal. The successful outcome will guarantee my happiness for the rest of my life. Except it will be the rest of my life I squander being unhappily fearfully not enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

I certainly come from a fearful scarcity mindset. Like the Great Depression settled into my family’s bones, it is a ghost in my nursery that I can’t shake. Always be ready for the worst. Hold tightly to what you’ve got. “You will always never have enough and knowing that will keep you wise” kinda stuff. I spoke of this phenomenon a year ago and The Unqualified Enoughs are a cruel trap no one should have to endure.

But while I live that anxious lifestyle, I’m missing moments just to relax with my world, my children, my bounty, my luck, and appreciate it. I can not see what’s in front of me for searching the future for more. If I am to stop living the anxiety riddled life of scarcity, I’m going to have to refocus my lens on my today. And it’s going to have to be enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

Fierce gratitude is necessary to accomplish this I think. Thank your maker, your world, and everyone in it for everything. Give thanks at your meals for the food that passed through all those hands to get to you. Be thankful for the trees that give you air to breath. Be thankful to your parents and your grandparents for getting frisky and begetting you so that you could have your own beautiful children. And write it all down everyday until you really start to know that you have enough every day. And then start looking to put more love and light and wonder in your life. Because that’s where the abundance enters the picture. Or maybe just the Enough for now feeling. I’m good with that.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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How To Change Your Life : Feel As if the Thing Has Happened

Sometimes my progress feels like I’m riding a rusty bicycle. I spend soooo many moments thinking about a change, considering how one makes the change, forgetting, remembering to work on changing it, and then starting the process all over again before I finally get to move the bicycle an inch.

Seems that it can take a long time from the first inkling of a making a change to following through with that change. Months and years can pass and the thought is still haunting you, doubts winning over progress. But on a dime, you can suddenly change your mind, grab a hold of the moment, get out of your way, and make your dream happen. My first marriage, my weight, my writing, and now my intention to put myself out more with doing live videos on Facebook were all affected by long long thought processes to make decisions to make changes in my life and my possibilities. Feel As If the Thing Has Happened on Shalavee.com

Sometimes, or most of the time, change happens slowly. It begins with a thought, a spark of a possibility. And our “what if’s” grow from there. Sometimes you aren’t confident. You need to research yourself, your abilities, your resources, and in what sequence your plan needs to unfurl. You may need to gather others’ opinions and build a team of supporters.

To move yourself from where you are, you have to imagine yourself there where you want to go. I used to watch a show called Starting Over. Women in need of help in a house doing hard soul work all together under the guidance of counselors/coaches Iyana Vanzant and Rhonda Britten.  Iyana Vanzant had a helpful way for her clients to think about the process of moving themselves on into their future. She used the acronym FAITH : Feel As If the Thing Has Happened. If you imagine how it will feel to have done what you are thinking you need to do then you can feel your way to manifesting it.

Feel As If the Thing Has Happened

I knew the marriage I truly wanted was brimming with love and trust. That I needed to have my children with a man who was loving and patient and not self-absorbed. I imagined a little toddler running to me at a waterfront house. And that’s what I ended up with. I imagined what it would be like to write regularly because I needed to, because I had to. And now I have devised a way to stretch my writing muscles regularly. Like it or not, I publish a post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.Feel As If the Thing Has Happened on Shalavee.com

Sometimes our ideas just need to gestate, lounge about in our consciousnesses. And eventually they become more urgent. Until finally they are more painful to keep unfulfilled than to just go ahead and put them into action. That can take weeks or years. But the best and most fated actions for your life will always resurface. You just have to scoop them out and allow them to breath and grow.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto! Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it.

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