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Choosing to Live in the House of Can

I had a profound and liberating thought this past weekend.

What if we knew and understood that every day we understood our ability to ground and anchor our thoughts. If we could lead ourselves with knowledge and intention through our days instead of reacting to fearful feelings that take over and derail us. Take myself out of autopilot. What a different life I’d lead.

Somehow we get our feelings tangled up with our facts. We can believe that how we are feeling, mainly fear, means there was something to be afraid of. But that truly isn’t the reality most of the time.Choosing to Live in the House of Can on Shalavee.com

With all of these thoughts that we have, the perception that we are powerless against our own feelings and thoughts means that we are powerless against ourselves??? Powerless against ourselves. And further we feel powerless against the news and our neighbors and anyone who crosses our path. That just seems a little crazy and exhausting to me.

So I am thinking that perhaps I need to create a mantra, a spiritual practice, every day to remind me that in every moment there’s an opportunity to choose how we want to think about our lives and our purpose for our days. And perhaps I won’t dwell so much in the house of Can’t as much but instead in the house of Can.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread ?

It occurred to me this morning that I am either hopeful or I am hopeless at any given moment. Am I dreading my day or looking forward to it? And in that very answer is the truth of my life’s outlook. My perception of who I am and how I have value to add to the world is the key to which state of being I’m in.

I am holding my breath this morning to find out how I feel.Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread on Shalavee.com

Our thoughts and feelings are codependent and fickle. We may have a fleeting thought about our “less than” worth and then suddenly our inner child has gone on strike and shuts down. As she feels helpless, hopeless and dreads everything upcoming, our now self feels hopeless and purposeless and depressed. She doesn’t think you are gong to get through this or keep her safe. 

If we receive kudos or a compliment about our work or our hair, suddenly we feel all puffed up and full of hope and love and generosity. Today is suddenly a wonderful day to be alive.

So the trick would seem to be that you need to convince yourself every day that you are amazing. Feeling good and esteeming oneself brings hope. Berating and hating oneself brings dread. It is a choice daily on how you want to feel.Will You Face the Day with Hope or Dread on Shalavee.com

So today I’m refusing to entertain any conversations about body hatred or dusty shelves or weedy gardens and instead, I’m going to continue to work on thinking I’m pretty keen. And work on what I can hand my readership that is of value to their lives. That brings them hope because we need to pass it on.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us

Much that I have seen and read has disappeared from my memory. And still other books have affected me in glorious ways, although I can’t quote passages from these books. Sometimes what we are reading and listening to may not seem to be life-changing , but slight shifts within us can shade the way we progress from thereon.

Last year I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly. But had an immense impact on what I thought about my creativity and my need to risk the outcome of this creativism. But it wasn’t until I started to practice what I had read that it truly came full circle.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

Sometimes thoughts need to percolate. This can be at odds with a culture that has an all or nothing, now or never mentality. But we continue to forget that life isn’t a result but a process. And the self-development process takes as long a it takes. Especially when we start at a deficit of knowledge or confidence to begin with.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

–Shaleah Dawnyel–

And I am also in awe at the concept that the more valuable ideas( like the one Brene Brown introduced on vulnerability) are circulated and percolate in our collective minds, the more we all start to shift toward a greater understanding of our collective wellness.Our Inspiration Makes Us as It Renovates Us on Shalavee.com

I owe so much of my thoughts that led to so many of my shifts to the big and small thoughts put out by writers, bloggers, and acquaintances online through posts and newsletters. Small bits and ahas filter through our resistances. And we grow each time we make the creative connections between these thoughts. As one of these acquaintances, Shaleah Dawnyel, put it, “Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand a different version of you.” We are never the same person at the end of the day that we started as. And that’s as it should be. We individually are works of art in progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Every ‘next’ level of your life will demand

a different version of you.”

The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions

My Mother’s maiden name is Head. My Grandpa used to say, “Wherever you are, you’re a Head.” How nice it would be to know with certainty that you are always ahead. I know that at any given moment, there’s a story I’m telling myself about where I am. Although I can’t necessarily argue with my actual physical placement, I decide if I’m ahead or behind in my conceptual placement. And what I think will trigger a feeling and an action and that’s how our life’s days go.

What if I choose the “I’m behind” story more often as a way to make myself feel badly? What if my progress report is a way of always choosing to see myself on the loosing side? Or I Judge myself and say I should have been so much farther along with my career or family planning or retirement investments than I am now. That’s the Thought. The Feeling that may follow is shame. And the Action may be to go eat a chocolate cake or down a bottle of vino. There is always a three part equation to these life patterns.The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions on Shalavee.com

Our perceptions acting in tandem with our repetitive behaviors govern our days. And our years. If we choose to perceive the worst of our life at any given moment, we may pave the way to the same trio of Feelings , Thoughts, and Actions, thus creating a perpetual hiccup of behavior patterns we may not even realize.

The trick to correcting a perpetually misplayed series of notes in music is to start at the end and keep replaying them backwards one note at a time. If you change the sequence in your brain, you disrupt the auto play and reprogram it. So if you choose to abstain from your given action at the end of your sucky life sentencing, you may find yourself in a different place. Don’t drink so much and see what happens. I did that.The Triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions on Shalavee.com

If you can stop yourself from interpreting the facts of your life into thoughts of failure and instead decide to maybe re-frame where you are and be compassionate, you may not have the same bad feelings. How do you show yourself compassion? You say I’m sorry I treated you that way, I’m sorry I told you that sad story about yourself, and I’m sorry that I have punished you because you are a good person and don’t deserve that.

The triangle of Feelings, Thoughts, and Actions does not continue to make sense if you change one of the sides. It’s up to us to decide where the change in our perception will happen. And to learn from our hearts what the truth really is. Because self-created mental hell moments are not made of truths. And only we have the power to disrupt the pattern of perpetually recreating these.

(Check out any of my pieces on Cognitive Distortions to find out the power you truly have at your disposal.)  

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Ability to Change is Not about Willpower

If it were a matter of willpower, we’d all be willing ourselves into success and abundance and skinniness. Yes your ability to change starts with your intent and your why but after that there’s a trick to do what you want. Your belief in your worthiness and your self-trust are what’s standing between you and what you want. And your fear is what’s in charge until they are.

I detest the formulas out there to my success which depend on me “just doing it”. I see and read so much about your ability to change your life and your plethora of choices and I want to scream, “Your missing the part where I believe I can and I’m worth it”. My low self-esteem might have been called out but it is by no means been completely reversed.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

If I don’t trust myself as reliable, honorable, and capable of following these steps to success and achievement, I am not starting. I already know I’ll fail myself. Why would I want to put myself through that over and over. It’s easier to assume I can’t than to bear the pain of starting and then discovering (surprise!) that I can’t follow through.

At the beginning, we are either worth the effort or we’re not. We claim we know that of course we are worth it but many people feel unworthy of so much secretly. The world has shown them they aren’t worthy. Their parents just weren’t there or asked them to be someone other than who they knew they were. The opportunities they saw other people getting were not offered to them. And layer upon layer upon layer of unworthiness build up. Until giving up is way less painful than trying.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

I have held a campaign for self-trust for myself for some time. As in over five years consciously. It is a steep hill to climb and yet, I am finally at the point where I am feeling the scales tipping. Witness my feeling of I can vs I can’t in this recent piece.

Life is a “Do It Yourself Project” of the largest degree. And every facet of your life and perception is malleable, changeable. Every thought we have is subject to our own scrutiny of validity. And in this introspective process, a noble self-respecting way of thinking arises. And through that, the understanding that our relationship with ourselves, our self-care, and our honor are all of our own doing.

Somehow, we need to grab ahold of the concept that we are all undeniably worth our own mercy and we then begin again. The nobility of beginning again is fathomless. And the wonder of our own faulted humanity is held by everyone, especially the person who’s holding your hand when you decide you are worth the effort.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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