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What Will They Think

Truthfully, at a certain point, we all stop caring about what people think. We get old enough and rack up enough GAS points to no longer Give A Shoot, if you know what I mean. But until we arrive at that cantankerous age, we seem to be stuck in a perpetual loop of caring a little too much about what others might think. As if their ill-willed thoughts would be immediately transmitted to a huge talking head on a large flat screen in our minds saying, “You suck and you are unworthy of your existence.” At which point we die, the end.

Stuck is the nature of human existence. We are pack animals whose worse fear is to be outcast. To live a life of shame of being less than. So, we keep ourselves on the QT, on the down low. We make everyone think we’re perfect and OK and Fine. While we live lives of fearful and silent desperation. Somehow instinctively we know to be terrified to be ourselves. Except, what else can we be? So, we’re screwed either way according to our instinctual reptilian brains.

What will they think when we tell them about our imperfections? About our bed-wetting problems as a child, our years of sleepless passionless nights, our mother’s illness, or our ridiculous inability to get beyond our fears to move on? Will we be stoned or scarlet lettered or shamed if we tell them about our abortions, out stays in the mental hospital, or our compulsive disorders?

What will they think? Perhaps what we all need specifically is to be asked to think a little more. Maybe we need to think about what it might be like to live with another’s problems, abuses, and dilemmas. Maybe we could stand the dose of compassion at the thought of what it might be like to be someone for whom no one ever showed up. Or we could stand to take a moment to think about anyone other than ourselves and our greed and our goods and our glamorous outsides.What will they think on Shalavee.com

I am here to share my stories in the hopes that they get people to think and to see themselves in my stories . And perhaps to stir up some self-compassion if these stories strike a note for them. Listening to one another without judgement and being open to be swayed into another point of view is exactly what community is all about. And I for one would like to lead us into a place of thoughtfulness by the example. There’s too many thoughtless examples. The scales need a radical tipping.

Any thoughts you are suddenly compelled to share, fire away. Have you hugged your kid today?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

What You Must Think of Me

 

It would be impossible not to consider what others think of me. Were I not a writer, you couldn’t prove I care. But I must care a little to want you to read what I’ve written. Or is it possible to be thankful that others approve but not base your own value on what others think. That has been a problem my entire life. Until now.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

Surely I can come off to some as a bit pompous and a loopy, talking about all this touchy feely stuff. Liberal spoutings of a girl who refuses to see what the world really is. But I submit that every last thing you see and perceive is based on your assumptions, your perceptions, and filtered by what you need to have it be.

My anxieties have run my picture show for a long long time. You may have noticed I am always busy. I kept busy, never had any ending so I didn’t have to hear what a crappy job I did. Never stop, never get criticized. I really cared too much about what you might think so I distracted you and me with busy. But unless that busy is satisfying for me, it never feels good.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

To be beautiful means to be yourself.

You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.
THICH NHAT HANH —

So this Christmas I gifted myself with the gift of no longer giving a shoot what anyone but me thinks. I can now trust myself to take care of my needs. My anxiety doesn’t run the show and so I am trusting in my decisions on my behalf for my happiness. Turns out happiness is the best everything.

And I’d like to think if it makes me happy, you’d be happy for me. Because what kind of world do I live in if I’m always frightened of the negative feelings I perceive everyone will have about me. Keep your mean to yourself and spread the nice. I hand out compliments because I love how they feel when I receive them. They’re candy to the soul. And everyone can use some soul candy every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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