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Evolution Revolution : Using Our Brains Differently

Whether you know it or not, there’s an evolution revolution currently occurring. We are being asked to raise our consciousnesses and consider how we treat ourselves. We can move from reactive living to proactive living if we use our brains differently.

All the buzz about mindfulness isn’t bunk and here’s why. We have two different parts of our brains that we use. There’s the back brain and the front brain. The back brain is the primitive brain that works on autopilot and is responsible for fear. It says it’s keeping us safe but actually would keep us from evolving if it had its way.

The front brain is the place where we make intelligent decisions. It’s our proactive place, our “I’ve got this” place, and we’re woefully under-utilizing it. In fact, we don’t trust it, and consequently ourselves. The need to connect with ourselves has brought on an onslaught of self-healing practices of which meditation is truly the best bet on self-connection.

When we sit and allow ourselves to be instead of do, we come to understand what we can and cannot control and who we are and aren’t. We connect with ourselves and a higher power to simplify life and magnify what it is that is truly important. In order to make a difference and help our world, we need to be humble enough to know that trying is all we can do but we must try. And we must have compassion for ourselves when we fail. And try again.

Evolution Revolution : Using Our Brains Differently on Shalavee.com

In order to change the world in a fearlessly all in kinda way, we’re going to have to act more from the front brain mode. We’re going to have to figure out how to raise a generation that isn’t constantly apologizing for itself. That knows what stellar treatment it’s entitled to. We are going to have to intentionally improve our souls to pass the betterment on to the next generation. So that they may feel entitled to evolve out of Fear and into Love.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How Do you Tell the Difference?

How do you tell the difference between being who you are and being who you think you should be? We have been us for so long that even when it’s wrong, it feels sort of right. When I strive for goals that seem like they should be mine and then feel hollow when I achieve them, what is that? Developing this self-perspective and understanding and trust of my feelings is daunting.

I am at a precipice, a crossroads of self-development. I have a set of goals to achieve that I think I want, or that I think I should want. And in the light of all the promise and achievement, I think I should be experiencing, my life is a failure. Except, I don’t think that. And yet I do continue to think I need to do certain things to claim legitimization. So it devalues my now and makes the future better than my now?

How Do you Tell the Difference? on shalavee.com

I would like to try to accomplish all these things that I think I should so I can stop feeling like I’m being held hostage. I have proven recently that I can do many hard things. And I also know that learning what I don’t want to do is just as important as knowing what you do want to do. And discovering that what you’ve been putting of is easy is unnerving but still satisfying.

I guess the only way to tell the difference between authentic want and doing it for the shoulds is to do it all and see how it feels? I feel my hope springs eternal, my compassion rounds me out and brings me home to face myself again. I hope this year I lead myself into a place that will bring me joy and not shame. And feel proud of the risk it took to show through.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Reserve the Right to Make a Bad Decision

This morning, I was considering how hard it is sometimes to make a decision. Especially with our epidemic perfectionism, we are often paralyzed by the idea of making a “wrong” decision. But truly, the hardest part about making the decision is making the decision. The carrying out of the decision and the consequences are a matter of wrote and history at that point.

Choice and changes are inevitable. “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice”, from the song Free Will by Rush . There is no way out of change. If we buck our leaders, our mothers, or ourselves, we will create a place where we are alone and mistrusting of our lives. The indecision we experience over a decision is either a symptom of our mistrust of ourselves or can end up causing us to mistrust ourselves more if we give our indecision any credit.

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Instead, if we know that 50% of our choices will not work out, we can assume that 50% will. And we could afford ourselves the respect that any choice we make will be the best we are capable of at the time. When my husband was in a room helping to negotiate a labor contract, the lawyer for the management turned to him and said,”Management reserves the right to make bad decisions.” Touchee.

So instead of undermining ourselves with doubt over whichever choice we make, we would be better off to just concede that we do the best we can with the information we have at a given time and go with our guts. Trust in ourselves is a muscle we build every time we choose. And to respect our need to grow this muscle and that we always do our best, we can be compassionate self-leaders.

I encourage you to reserve the right to make bad choices. Grant yourself permission to be wrong. But you just might be right.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

F*%ked up

You know, in many ways, I was less eff-ed up throughout my life than I thought I was. Understanding that much of my screwy self was created when I was little living in a dysfunctional family, I did well to come out with the drive to heal that I have. But in a few ways, I was a little more eff-ed up than I admitted I was. In fact, I think we all are. We’re all playing a grand game of “I’m Fine, See?”, but I’m not buying it.

Last year I was certain I was doing everything I possibly could to battle my anxiety. I have been in therapy always, I journal and confess, I read, I ruminate, and I witness with compassion my setbacks. Until suddenly, the fear monster overcame me and my heart was broken in my disbelief. And so I chose to do one more thing to find my way out. I asked for help.

F*%ked up on Shalavee.com

With my anti-anxiety meds, I suddenly felt “normal”. There was no more buzz of fear in my head. No more hum in the sound system that suggests a problem. And as thrilled as I was to no longer be suffering the daily doubt and need to fix me, I also felt like I had woken up in another country. When you think you know the language of life and suddenly you don’t. When it’s always hard and suddenly easy, you wait for the other shoe to drop.

Up to this point, I had been cultivating a theory on how increased creativity can decrease anxiety. Except, what I had truly experienced was that creativity couldn’t take care of the anxiety completely. I wanted it to but it wouldn’t. And I felt such doubt in what I had been working on up until then. So I have awaited a new perspective to allow me new understanding.

At the core, self-trust is what balances and battles anxiety. And however you gain that, that’s your personal answer. Whether it’s creativity, abstinence, habitual self-care, therapy, meditation, the powerful magic of tidying up even one drawer, medication, or any combination of these, the final goal is to be happy and to be less anxious. But what is so important is that we need to do whatever it takes regardless of the stigma f not being OK. Because that snobbish pride prevented me from being less anxious for a long time.

So I’ve decided I’ll go back to pieces and theories I’ve written and mull over what thoughts still resonate and what needs to be overhauled with my new perspective. Raging against the change will not stop it. All that’s left is to find a way to begin again. And then…begin again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Was Worthless

I have come to understand that the two areas of me that need the most work are self-trust and self-value. I believe that my lack of self-trust is what causes anxiety. And my lack of self-value is otherwise known as low self-esteem or self-worth.

It struck me the other day that I have truly believed for a long time that I am worthless. I almost laughed at the ludicrousness of this concept.

As children, we believe what we do about ourselves based on what our world shows us. Everything reflects our worth. And if my parents weren’t available to shower me with unlimited love right when I needed it, it must have reflected my lack of worthiness. And that stuff sticks around. The inner child’s decision of worthlessness will not be dissuaded because they are all ego, the center of the universe. Absolute importance or unimportance.

For 10 years, I have been working on raising my self-esteem. But while I could see these parts of me that I disliked and wanted to rid myself of, I was powerless to move from this magnetic grip that my low self-esteem had on me. I was tethered to my recognitions of my worthlessness. Because that is how it always has been. Until I released myself.

The one two punch combination against my worthlessness began with understanding that I was bullying myself. That no man has ever oppressed me as well as I have oppressed myself. And I proceeded to shower compassion down on myself. And then I chose to alleviate my anxiety with my last resorted option : medication.

I have always had a knife to my throat as nothing I ever did was good enough. But now I have been released from my tether to my not good enough thoughts. Instead of seeing myself as fat, I see myself as pre-skinnier. I looked in the mirror the other day and caught sight of myself and thought that I was pretty. The fact that I can see the difference in the way I was as opposed to the way I feel now seems slightly miraculous. And I probably deserve a few miracles in my life

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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