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Social Media is Good For You

The increased use of social media has changed the world in ways many people will suggest are all bad. Saying that this new crop/generation of ego soaked narcissists wouldn’t have come about without the social media medium is short-sighted. My thought is that this medium just gave everyone a voice that they were already feeling entitled to use while disregarding anyone else. It didn’t make them this way, it just aided them to be heard.And watching this definitely made many of us a little more shy online.

But just because that’s what you hear and see, this still doesn’t mean all of us are having that same distasteful experience. In fact my social media experience has become quite the opposite and I am bowled over at how my esteem was raised up so much by strangers on the internet.

If you Google search “the effects of social media”, you get a pretty bad laundry list of how people’s psyches are crumbling under the pressure of the cult of perfect on the internet. I want you to like me, I am compelled to control that, and so I put false and perfect images up of myself so that you’ll ooh and ahh and won’t cast me out of the tribal circle. Except, the false-self will be very unhappy with the whole thing and eventually, in your attempts to be a perfect, you will fail to trust the very acknowledgement you receive.Social Media is Good For You on Shalavee.com

…Have the faith that if you are just you, that those who are meant to be your friends will know you with their eyes closed and their minds open.

The opposite of fake is authentic. And I now know that authenticity comes from you creating a space for you to be yourself. That it is highly risky, yes, but when you hand your true you over to strangers repeatedly and they still like you? You got a good thing going on. And so was my tale of how Instagram has changed my life.

The story about how this medium elevated me from my dragging self-esteem to being a daring doer, is all about how I made lovely friends all over the world and trusted that what they were telling me was true. That not only didn’t I suck, I soared. My ideas were valid and wise. My art and pictures were interesting and beautiful. And that I was genuinely a someone that people wanted to be friends with and still do.Social Media is Good For You on Shalavee.com

This was about seeing myself through a previously non-existent mirror. And building myself up with risks and achievements I’d accomplished which then were echoed time and again by strangers who became my friends. That is how I see social media in my world. I am a benevolent loving presence in many people’s lives. I have exchanged letters with them and met with them and Skyped with them. And I am never disappointed at how wonderful the women of the world are. And how they show up for me when I ask them to. Very validating indeed.

Social media isn’t as sucky as social media would have you think. It’s all in the way that you use it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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When Being at Home Can Happen Anywhere

My daily prayer is for a shift. Please let my mind shift to see me and my world and my potential differently today. To value what I have and what I know with respect and reverence. I leave the house hoping to break my “same brain”. And I do for a little while driving or shopping. And then I return home and I feel the inevitable slip back into my rut.

In the light of the upcoming birthday party and having guests over, I am doing some home renovations. Throw a party and you’ll make progress. My hallway is getting a long overdue facelift. 2 gallons and two quarts of paint later, the hallway is completely different. And while I am feeling thrilled and empowered with this change, I also have simultaneously discovered the home and safe passage I am looking for is nowhere I can physically touch. The home I truly seek is within me.When being at home can happen anywhere on Shalavee.com

Whether in my heart or in my soul, the safety and comfort I’m seeking is inside of me. It’s the comfort of a place where I can trust being me. It is the safety of knowing that I will not allow anyone to mistreat or disrespect me here. Trust in myself is like the biggest most comfortable couch to lounge on. You either own it or you don’t.

Although I do think the change in my abode will do me a world of good, the courage for the change is coming from a change inside of me. 12 years ago I renovated a house down the street and made it my shop. I boldly painted the floor there and loved it. Today I took the chance again and painted the floor of my home and I love it again. Go figure.When being at home can happen anywhere on Shalavee.com

I had to toss out some of the same fears that I always had about painting wooden floors and just had to do it to make me happy. I am certain that, in this same way, I need to just plow over some of my fears about success that keep me stuck. The fears need to be renovated or tossed because they have kept me staring at the same ugly uncomfortable couch for far too long. I’d rather sit on the floor with some nice throw pillows than feel the burden and dread of that same old seat on that smelly old fear couch. What would you do to be your own hero today?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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Looking For Good Enough

I’ve gone through spells of uneasiness recently. Days or patches where something is off. When I don’t feel great about what I’m doing or the day itself. And I realized it may be a little voice that says things are not quite good enough. My expectations and my actualities are not evening out.

I wrote in my journal,”I suspect my expectations are to blame. And I know I never give myself enough space or credit for my actuality. I continue to wait for some fairy godmother perspective shift.

I suspect that somewhere somehow I got it in my head that there would be this eureka moment when I would get the biggest Aha of my life and I’d completely break the confusing code of what am I here to do and why. I’ve been waiting for a lightning strike while I am actually moving along anyway, just a lot slower than my expectations.

Because when you deep down believe it’s not good enough, your poster life doesn’t match up to your real today life. So I thought, what does good enough really look like and let me paint a picture of that to put on my wall to stare at instead.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

What Good Enough Looks Like

When I don’t go looking for reasons to be unhappy with my life and myself.

When I stop doubting my ability to parent myself, to rely on myself, to follow myself to true happiness

When I trust myself

When I see myself in the mirror and don’t judge what I see badly

When I look at any possibility that tickles my fancy and say I can do that

When I feel the value that my being here has just because I’m here

And as I was wandering around reading random internet posts yesterday, I fell upon another concept that I think is also at work here. On Liz Smith’s Connected Life blog, she speaks here about Deepok Chopra’s concept that in each of us there is an everyday self and a deeper true self. The true self is essentially your soul. It is where you are when you feel contented. Your true self is certain and clear about your life where the everyday self can get easily influenced by chaos and other people’s opinions and will forget your true self even exists.Looking for good enough on Shalavee.com

It takes a good deal of mindfulness to train your brain to concentrate on thinking and existing in a truer place. And that is what I need to keep my eyes on when I feel a not enough spell coming on. I almost laughed out loud today when I realized that I already know what I know. And that just because I don’t believe it doesn’t make it any less true. When I write, I write what I know. And I find out what I know by writing. So I guess the only way to find out if I know enough is to start writing. The stories we tell ourselves keep us from finding out the truth. And I suspect the truth here is that I certainly know enough to write a book on what I know!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Your Should is a Leak of Your Happiness

In the middle of writing in my journal this morning, thinking about my next round of tasks, I felt a sudden twitch. It was a should. I thought… instead of just floating about, I should have a plan on which way I’m sailing my blog boat. Everyone else seems to have one… And then I stopped myself and wrote this on my journal page, “ There’s a should. It came and stuck itself to the page. It’s like a hole for feelings of accomplishment to leak out.” Indeed. Your should is a leak of your happiness on Shalavee.com

No quicker way to take the wind out of your sails or cut yourself off at figurative knees than to compare your progress to others and to an unknown but infinitely better destination than the one you are occupying now. As long as this place in time or in your process isn’t good enough, you are doomed to feelings of inadequacy. Your should is a leak of your happiness on Shalavee.com

And I get the feeling that at its core, should also discounts all progress and only focuses on what you have yet to do. Or have begun to regret not doing. I’ve often have a problem acknowledging my real accomplishments continuously looking to the future. After realizing I’m a overfocused industrious type, I have come to understand that the simplicity of celebration is precious and clears the board to begin again. And a mindless should can steal away the joy and pride of anything I’ve done. So I double dog dare that word to come around again or I’ll gut it again and show it up for the sneaky undermining bastard it is.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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What You Must Think of Me

 

It would be impossible not to consider what others think of me. Were I not a writer, you couldn’t prove I care. But I must care a little to want you to read what I’ve written. Or is it possible to be thankful that others approve but not base your own value on what others think. That has been a problem my entire life. Until now.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

Surely I can come off to some as a bit pompous and a loopy, talking about all this touchy feely stuff. Liberal spoutings of a girl who refuses to see what the world really is. But I submit that every last thing you see and perceive is based on your assumptions, your perceptions, and filtered by what you need to have it be.

My anxieties have run my picture show for a long long time. You may have noticed I am always busy. I kept busy, never had any ending so I didn’t have to hear what a crappy job I did. Never stop, never get criticized. I really cared too much about what you might think so I distracted you and me with busy. But unless that busy is satisfying for me, it never feels good.what you must think of me on Shalavee.com

To be beautiful means to be yourself.

You don’t need to be accepted by others.

You need to accept yourself.
THICH NHAT HANH —

So this Christmas I gifted myself with the gift of no longer giving a shoot what anyone but me thinks. I can now trust myself to take care of my needs. My anxiety doesn’t run the show and so I am trusting in my decisions on my behalf for my happiness. Turns out happiness is the best everything.

And I’d like to think if it makes me happy, you’d be happy for me. Because what kind of world do I live in if I’m always frightened of the negative feelings I perceive everyone will have about me. Keep your mean to yourself and spread the nice. I hand out compliments because I love how they feel when I receive them. They’re candy to the soul. And everyone can use some soul candy every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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