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Re-establishing Trust With You is the Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Do

Re-establishing trust with you is the most important thing you’ll ever do

It takes witchcraft to conjure items from nowhere and that’s exactly what it feels like when you’re attempting to manifest a feeling you’ve truly never felt before like happiness and self-confidence.

Being OK with me was hidden in secret magical fairy tale dimension that I’d only read about in make-believe or self-help books. The concept of self-esteem was so foreign, it seemed something someone made up to be cruel to people like me. But even through my skepticism, I’ve continued to work hard on finding this elusive but apparently very necessary item.

Lurches and leaps and lapses in faith littered my way from there to here. Yet I keep adding drops into my bucket to fill my self-esteem bucket up. I trusted myself when I made decisions to risk and won. I saw myself in a different more valuable way when a community rose up around me to support me. I dedicated myself to my therapy homework and to writing what I felt and putting it in front of you dear reader.Re-establishing Trust With You is the Most Important Thing You'll Ever Do on Shalavee.com

And recently, I’ve grabbed another book to continue to build a connection with myself that is stronger and more honest and trustworthy. I am writing five acknowledgements every day of things that I have done. And as simple as that may seem, something is shifting. I am feeling my word is good to myself. I am keeping myself from rushing off to the future and am focusing on the present.

The process will be different for everyone. Many people get to start of with less of a deficit. They may have half as much work to do to find a way of seeing themselves within the world that’s purposeful and important and uniquely necessary. But that is always the truth whether you’ve found it out or not yet. And there are most likely lots of loving people in your life who have waited and hoped for you to make that discovery. So give yourself an opportunity to find your voice again and make yourself at home in the safety of being you.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Connecting the Parts

Last Summer, I agreed with the small girl inside me that she needed my help to heal. And together, we acknowledged her needs and demands to be allowed to create and play. I participated in creative challenge after creative challenge until reestablished trust with my inner child around the need for play.My adult and child parts were beginning to reconnect.

I have felt a need to heal another part of myself recently. She was the teen me who was so daring, took chances, and showed the world what she was made of. She was intoxicating and dangerous, crafty and self-sufficient. And I’ve been missing her a lot recently. Connecting my parts on Shalavee.com

Seems that we need to acknowledge that we are multifaceted and each part of us formed at different times in our lives, needs to work together as a team. If we don’t, and don’t trust ourselves to play well and negotiate our needs kindly, we will always be at a deficit. I have been working hard for years to understand what it is I’ve been saying to myself and I’m just getting to the point where I am beginning to trust my own choices, my reliability, and my compassion.

There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves

and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” ~ Brian Andreas ~

We are all our own leaders. We need to find a way to work well within ourselves so that we may continue on trusting our own voices telling us what we need, what we’re passionate about, and hearing what others are saying, good and bad, so that we may make the best decisions about what we need to do next. Lead ourselves on through our own personal terrains.

I am not fearless nor fearsome. My fear is there but it need not run the show anymore. It can witness me making these continual choices to be kind to my inner child and embrace the passion of my teen self. And when the time comes for me to be done, I can tell fear thanks for the help but I’m glad I did it my way after all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Not Enough is Not Enough is Not Enough

Enough, like Esteem, is one of those concepts I revisit again and again hoping to coax out the secrets to unlocking the spell it holds over me. I am certain that the key to releasing me from the state of not enough lies closer to me than ever before. Can you feel the “not enough” curse in your life too? I was Looking For Good Enough back in February and made some realizations here.

There is an epidemic of consumerism, an obesity of possession. People still mesmerized by the media that tells them what they should value can be bought in wagon loads for less at their local Superstore. And the economy rumbles on on the debts from home-improvements and blatant overspending of your neighbors. My in-law conceded, “You’ll always be in debt so you might as well enjoy yourself.” Not Enough is Not Enough on Shalavee.com

But what if all that buying still is never enough. What if all your attempts to fill your soul up with stuff doesn’t do “it” for you. Then what? I offer then  that this is not the way to salvation after all. We’re smart beasts, why would we keep falling for this?

I offer that we are just lacking in a connection to our own impact on our world.

That we have lost our faith in our own personal contributing worth. That we need to create a safe space within ourselves to be us instead of trying so hard to be someone else.

That enough starts from within. Always has. Always will.

And perhaps even being aware of what we are unhappy with can open our eyes to be more consciously aware of what enough might actually mean to us. Not Enough is Not Enough on Shalavee.com

I found recently that when I was forced to stop doing doing doing and have a seat, I became more appreciative of what was going on in the present moment. That my kids laughter and the carry out food I didn’t have to cook were mini-miracles. And it was enough for that moment.

Here’s to hoping to find a place to be safe within ourselves, myself, where I am mighty and important to the world. That my unique perspective is valued by me and by you. That my being alive is enough to get me started in directions that make me proud and happy. And that I the “not enough” begins to feel more like a lie than the truth.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem

Back to my therapy office this week after a long hiatus, I asked my therapist to help me continue to work on my value. That seems to be one area that is slow to move and grow in. Kinda like when we ran out of gas on the highway that one time and even adding 5 gallons wasn’t enough to start the car. (Fuel injection is persnickety that way. I curse gasoline anyway.) Sometimes the progress is imperceptible and doesn’t feel like enough.

Once your supply of esteem gets down below a certain point, I think it takes a lot to pull it back up to a functional place. A lot! And it’s the kinda thing where I think I’ve filled it up and then something big and bad happens and I feel it draining out the holes of my self-doubt and then those little niggling lies that you’ve heard in your head all your life creep back in. And you’re toasty.Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem on Shalavee.com

I thought today how low self-esteem and not valuing your worth is the reason for a lot of the crazy things people do. There are people who create mirages of perfection online so that no one will see they aren’t perfect. There are people who manipulate you to like them by outright lying. And the bullyers are plopping their self-doubt on your head so they don’t have to look at it in their own hats. Nasty people, harassing people, and depressed people are all suffering from the same deficit of self-love. We know what this feels like so you’d think we’d be a little more compassionate?Revisiting the Value of Me : Self-Esteem on Shalavee.com

But when you are staring at your own bleak walls, it’s awful hard to think of anyone else but yourself. And that makes me know that to be of any help in the world, I need to not be operating from this dark place anymore. I can not help the world or anyone else if I don’t have my inner room cleaned up and a little brighter. So I again go in to fight the good fight for truth and value, being my own super hero and asking for the world to mirror me the truth of my worth. Because I think mostly, we are all good and a little broken. And I respect your process to find a better place to be if you aren’t happy where you are.

Who’s with me and where are you? Do you have a problem valuing you too?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why I’m OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop

If I had a dime for every time I heard, “Oh Shalagh you are so creative”, I’d at least have five bucks. This became one of those phrases that made me twitch perhaps because I didn’t think of myself as having any kind of creative superpowers which was obvious to them but not to me, until it finally was. I think perhaps what they meant was they wished they knew the secret creative permission spell too.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to the past several years when I intentionally indulged myself in creative challenges to gain creative confidence. I followed many of my creative curiosities until I finally owned that I was an Uber-creative. And I am beginning to understand that I believe in creative living aka Creativism as a way of life, one that is at odds with the consume and destroy mode of existence I see all too much of.

So if there is a purpose to my life, one of the facets seems to be sharing my creativity with others so that they too have permission to create.  To this end, I am offering a creativity workshop locally this Fall because I believe that everyone can benefit, and perhaps heal, from increased creativity in their lives.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Each of us looks to understand ourselves based on our interaction with the world. The advertising propaganda would have us believe conformity and possession would be our best safe bet to easy existence. But in fact, we crave to understand our uniqueness through our interactions. We long to be carefree, to be unique and yet connected to our community at the same time. We want self-confidence that comes from owning our own uniqueness and perspective. Not only are these human needs, they are only a few of the many benefits of creativity.

Somehow, as we become older, we conform to the idea that creativity will get us outcast from the tribe. That we need to focus only on the earning of money and security for our family. My hope is that by opening up a conversation with people, and consequently they with themselves, the tantalizing benefits will begin to tickle people slightly out of their fear zones so that they may try creativity in small bursts in their lives. A little creativity in one’s life is better than none. And the money people can save by ceasing to try to find themselves by spending rather than creating will make it an even more enticing proposition.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

My final realization is that I don’t have to a “professional” artist to legitimize my knowledge and experience around creativity. I can be a small “a” artist. I only need to acknowledge that I am creative and share what I feel and know to be my truth around this process as it relates to my growth and development as a more rounded human being. I can honestly say that the permission I have given myself to create has created a better happier more confident me. And that is a completely good thing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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