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Self Creation by Avoidance of What you Fear You’ll Become

I was washing dishes this morning and it occurred to me that I may actually be basing my journey of becoming me on not wanting to be certain qualities. That I’m attempting to become myself by avoiding becoming something else. And that struck me as kinda stupid.

Where I’d agree, knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you do want, I think becoming by avoidance sounds like fear may be driving. And once fear is in the driver’s seat, your public transportation vehicle is then careening all over the road because fear doesn’t make good rational decisions and doesn’t heed the rules.

Because I don’t want to make the same mistakes my parents did” might sound like a reasonable excuse not to start a family but it’s not on the up and up. It’s completely excluding all the benefits of having that kind of love in your life and adding it to the world.Creating Yourself By What You Don't Want to Be on Shalavee.com

These are the “don’t want to’s” that are gumming up my works. I don’t want to start something I can’t finish. I don’t want to seem to be some kinda of know-it-all when I’m not. I don’t want to act like/be perceived as a narcissist. I don’t want to make anything I’m doing about money. I don’t want to make anything more important than my children. My fear has all the bases covered for making no progress with very pragmatic sounding excuses.

We all have the final power to create and recreate ourselves and our stories all the time. But fear-based self creation serves no one. If I pursue my passions and my children miss me for a night or two while I take care of my project or am out-of-town, that will make us all appreciate each other more. If I limit my reach and my connections with the wider world because I’m afraid of taking on too much, I’ll dial it back when it begins to be too much.Creating Yourself By What You Don't Want to Be on Shalavee.com

Staying small has never benefited anyone. And people who believe in who I am and what I am saying will also get my true intentions and my integrity. Those who don’t, won’t. Perhaps it’s those exact people I need to have faith in to guide me through my fear decisions and tell me the truth. Because my friends and family know I can even when I don’t think I can. I want to know what they already do.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Word of the Year for 2018 : Trust

Let me start by saying that by March ’17 , I had abandoned my 2017 word of the year on the side of the road. It asked too much of me. Or should I say, it asked for inauthenticity. A fake it until you make it attitude I couldn’t buy into. My word was Courage but adopting it never made me feel courageous. I didn’t trust it. And then I just didn’t have it in me to find another word.

So this year I had a “screw a word for the year” mindset. I went for a walk yesterday in the freezing cold and darned if my word didn’t come to me suddenly. TRUST. And I knew, I trusted, that this was the simplest best word to guide me through my next year of challenges and fears.

See, it’s never about the how. Ever. It’s always about the Why. If that Why is tuned to your values and your passion, the How will become clear. Trust your heart’s calling and your why because they are your core. I anchored myself this year  by claiming my intention.

I am connecting with and seeing myself more as I engage in conversations with like-minded people, telling and listening to our stories and lending permission to others to tell their stories too.”My Word for 2018: Trust on Shalavee.com

Fear pushes but vision pulls. If you trust your Why to be truthful and the world to be for you instead of against you, you will always be on the right path. Your fear can join you but it will never be in charge. And do yourself the hugest favor and avoid the Should Trap. Either you’re doing things for yourself because you want to or you’re not. If you allow your people (the ones you belong to not fit in with) to come along, you will certainly never be alone. I want to live simply enveloped in Trust and accompanied by my soul people.

I came up with this acronym at the last part of 2017.

TRUST – Take Root Under the Self Tree.

Let yourself be your protector.

Feel your values be your roots.

Invite people under your canopy and together, listen to the rain fall.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Creativity Workshop in the Fall of 2017

Developing and leading the Creativity workshop on November 18th of this year, 2017, renewed my understanding of my purpose. All the self-trust and self-esteem work I’ve done has naturally led to me valuing my creativity. The more I read and the more I write about both self-development and creativity, the more I understand the entwined nature of our true and creative selves.

And I now understand the same fear that threatens to keep us from our truest and most authentic self is the same as that which keeps us from our most creative selves. I find this kind of knowledge is too juicy to keep to oneself. Because if you can separate yourself from your fear and feelings just long enough to make a better choice that makes you feel better, at least you know you have a choice.

Previously, I have conducted one other workshop several years ago on blogging. And as that was a success at showing me I could teach a workshop, this one was more about what I felt passionate about. These are the subjects that have changed my life drastically. The theories and understanding that I have developed were earned by me. And I can see that what I know and feel may be of help to someone else looking to free themselves from the anguish of anxiety and blocked creativity.

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

I started the workshop by asking people to describe creativity. To put a value on it in their minds is to make it worth pursuing. These dozen attendees were there because they already valued creativity and yet, in our separated worlds, we may not realize it means as much to others. Hearing others say how you feel is very validating. We then jumped into what held us back from creativity, claiming words that described our blocks and our fears. And again, we owned what we knew was keeping us from this goal we wanted and heard what other people had struggles with. A sudden sense of community felt formed.

I shared my humanity and told a story of how anxiety had gripped me while driving on my way to a creative event once. I spoke about the cruelty we treat our inner children with when we deny or criticize their natural need to play. I gave them words and concepts about fear of being outcast and faith in our authentic selves and the kindness of permission to play versus the cruelty of not allowing for it. And then we got to the hands-on fun part where we applied ourselves to this process.

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

First, we created permission slips based on a blocked creative task citing our creative desire and then writing through our blocks to achieve that. And then we created authority badges claiming ourselves and our talents as creatives regardless of talent.  It was wondrous to watch this roomful of adults grab markers and glitter and paper and create physical representations of their entitlement to be creative.

My takeaway? I am onto something. There is a simple equation here about our true inner children being allowed to be unequivocally ourselves. That we’ve been so programmed to be productive and ready for disaster that day after day we deny ourselves our true identities, a moment to indulge in “pointless’ fun activities. And day after day, hope leaks from our souls as we remain imprisoned in our shoulds and can’ts.

 

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

My Creativity Workshop Fall of 2017 on Shalavee.com

I have a strong sense that this kind of self-permission and soul tuning is necessary for our world to heal. That we can’t be an authentic nation of people if we are not acting as our truest selves and in our own interests. And that creative living and listening to our intuition will serve to make us stronger in every application.

I will be revamping my content and offering this workshop again next year sometime. The potential to awaken people’s insights and intuitions is tantalizing. And I would love to know and be proud to have I contributed what I could to the healing of people’s creative souls.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Like skydiving or deep-sea diving, this self-discovery adventure of myself, can feel like scary free-falling into the unknown.

As I attempt to traverse the terrain of my inner world and muster the mindfulness that fuels this trip, I am developing a way better understanding of my humanity. And what you need to know about me is that I roll with the lessons, re-posting it “live” as it happens.No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises on Shalavee.com

Unlike a lot of online persons, I do not have it all wrapped up in a nicely branded box with bow-like promises of easy transformation. I only have the truths as I discover them and the story to tell as it unfolds. My honesty may make some people giddy while others may feel ill from the reality of my process but it is the only way I will keep on keeping on. It is the only way I can feel good about myself sharing my process with you.

Because at the end of this journey, I want a really good story to tell. One about my fears that paralyzed me and the rediscovered hope that broke me free. Perfection that was abandoned to the wind for the sake of being here in the moment. Now. With me and with you if you are here too.No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises on Shalavee.com

I am committed to creating a life full of intention and connection, community and creativity. And the more I dwell there, the more I know that is exactly where I need to be. So I hope you stick around as see how it all unfolds and keep me company in my discovery journey.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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A Few Moments of Thought in the Bathroom

Our house is over one hundred years old. When you use the front upstairs bathroom in the middle of the house over the front door, you hear it groaning. I assume it’s the pipes but why they groan, I won’t know until the day something ruptures.

I’m in there to dye my very white hair roots. When we moved here I was dying my slightly gray and very short hair red. I’m totally gray now and have gone long and dark. As I’m doing the haphazard job I usually do to drown my head in chemicals, intermittently wiping my face and shirt where I’ve splattered hair dye, I see a bug flying around me. I swing at him and continue in the mirror and then I see something crawling on the sink.

So first I think how completely creepy it is for anything to be flying and then suddenly crawling like another beast completely. I consider squashing it because it’s freaked me out. And then I think about the times I’ve scolded my daughter for randomly offing offending ants on the front porch while saving pill bugs to torture. And I leave him alone.A Few Moments of Thought in the Bathroom on Shalavee.com

Hair dye has twenty minutes to cook. I sit down to work on something and think, why not just this exact piece of writing. Because so much mundane thoughts are exactly the place where people spend their thought time in. They do not spend their majority of time in their prettiest pictures or most smoothed over words but in random vitreous brain floater thoughts that float through barely noticed, shadows of fears and worries of life and love.

Seven more minutes to wait until I officially become a little younger. I pull back my skin on cheeks to remember what I looked like without these jowls twenty years ago. When I met Mark. Genetics gave me these jowls and this prematurely white hair. And it’s doling out still more surprises every year.Good thing my skin ages well.

I set my mind to not panic or apply it to how I’m a horrid aging person. I vow instead to follow the breadcrumbs of health and self-care. To make the next appointment necessary and the next and the next and follow through with taking every little pill and walk every mile. That is the only thing to be done. That and choosing to not squash a bug every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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