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My Self-Discovery Journey : No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises

Like skydiving or deep-sea diving, this self-discovery adventure of myself, can feel like scary free-falling into the unknown.

As I attempt to traverse the terrain of my inner world and muster the mindfulness that fuels this trip, I am developing a way better understanding of my humanity. And what you need to know about me is that I roll with the lessons, re-posting it “live” as it happens.No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises on Shalavee.com

Unlike a lot of online persons, I do not have it all wrapped up in a nicely branded box with bow-like promises of easy transformation. I only have the truths as I discover them and the story to tell as it unfolds. My honesty may make some people giddy while others may feel ill from the reality of my process but it is the only way I will keep on keeping on. It is the only way I can feel good about myself sharing my process with you.

Because at the end of this journey, I want a really good story to tell. One about my fears that paralyzed me and the rediscovered hope that broke me free. Perfection that was abandoned to the wind for the sake of being here in the moment. Now. With me and with you if you are here too.No Nicely Branded Box with Bow-like Promises on Shalavee.com

I am committed to creating a life full of intention and connection, community and creativity. And the more I dwell there, the more I know that is exactly where I need to be. So I hope you stick around as see how it all unfolds and keep me company in my discovery journey.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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A Few Moments of Thought in the Bathroom

Our house is over one hundred years old. When you use the front upstairs bathroom in the middle of the house over the front door, you hear it groaning. I assume it’s the pipes but why they groan, I won’t know until the day something ruptures.

I’m in there to dye my very white hair roots. When we moved here I was dying my slightly gray and very short hair red. I’m totally gray now and have gone long and dark. As I’m doing the haphazard job I usually do to drown my head in chemicals, intermittently wiping my face and shirt where I’ve splattered hair dye, I see a bug flying around me. I swing at him and continue in the mirror and then I see something crawling on the sink.

So first I think how completely creepy it is for anything to be flying and then suddenly crawling like another beast completely. I consider squashing it because it’s freaked me out. And then I think about the times I’ve scolded my daughter for randomly offing offending ants on the front porch while saving pill bugs to torture. And I leave him alone.A Few Moments of Thought in the Bathroom on Shalavee.com

Hair dye has twenty minutes to cook. I sit down to work on something and think, why not just this exact piece of writing. Because so much mundane thoughts are exactly the place where people spend their thought time in. They do not spend their majority of time in their prettiest pictures or most smoothed over words but in random vitreous brain floater thoughts that float through barely noticed, shadows of fears and worries of life and love.

Seven more minutes to wait until I officially become a little younger. I pull back my skin on cheeks to remember what I looked like without these jowls twenty years ago. When I met Mark. Genetics gave me these jowls and this prematurely white hair. And it’s doling out still more surprises every year.Good thing my skin ages well.

I set my mind to not panic or apply it to how I’m a horrid aging person. I vow instead to follow the breadcrumbs of health and self-care. To make the next appointment necessary and the next and the next and follow through with taking every little pill and walk every mile. That is the only thing to be done. That and choosing to not squash a bug every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Came From The True Self Prompt on My Soul Selfie Challenge

This week I’m in the midst of hosting my fourth Soul Selfie Challenge meant to spur and spark people to dig a little deeper and do some self-inquiry on what they believe about themselves or their lives or life in general. It’s about inner snapshots, not outer ones. We are looking to engage with each other and show a little of our true self.

One of the hardest jobs hosting an Instagram challenge is to come up with prompt words that will inspire thoughtful responses. And where I have picked more specific words in the past that give clear images to the participants, I was a little more vague this second Fall challenge. But the results have been truly inspirational. What Came From The True Self Prompt on My Soul Selfie Challenge on Shalavee.com

The words we’ve covered so far are Balance, True Self , and Choice. And boy howdy, have we got loads of spark thoughts to load into our brains! I was most intrigued by what I thought on the prompt True Self. That perhaps defining this would be of help. This is what I said,

Hmm. Who do I think I am?

Perhaps my true self is the person I think I am. Or is it the person I strive to be? Or perhaps she’s the gal I am under the layers of crap I’m attempting to strip off? Layers of me that I have no use for.

Underneath, I sense the girl I was when I was little, the forgotten one. Maybe my true self is her with some hard-earned wisdom layered on top.

But in the end, I suspect my true self is exactly who I am at this very moment. A girl with a passion for community, an unfailing sense of fairness, an insatiable search for truth, and a compulsion to create. Ever-changing, in search of answers, … Hi . “

And the same day, as I am reading a book by Rhonda Britten (still) called Change Your Life in 30 Days (or however long it takes to read the book), in a chapter on how the words you choose have such power over how you feel about you and your life, I read this :

Your true self isn’t afraid. Your true self wouldn’t put you down. Your true self doesn’t think money is the answer. Your true self isn’t interested in how much time you do or do not have. Your true self makes choices. Your true self understands. Your true self includes others and wants to connect more than anything. Your true self empowers. Your true self relaxes, enjoys herself, and has fun. Be willing to be your true self.”

I am momentarily struck by the truth in this. I am transfixed by the power of words that ring true. I aspire to be more of that person. And I adore all the truth that is pouring out from an ever-growing community of truth seekers through this challenge. This is what I live for.

 

If you are on Instagram, search the hashtag #Soul_Selfie and read a few of these posts. People can in fact be real. It doesn’t have to be a world of fake-o happy flat lays. Pretty pictures are marvelous and I want some meaty brain food to chew on while I look at them. Thanks to all the participants and to the newer ones too! Wow and Gosh! Because self-development is what all the cool kids are doing!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge is Here

On May 15th of 2016, I hosted my first Soul Selfie Challenge. As you may already know, I’m all about introspection. And I conceived of the hashtag #Soul_Selfie to house posts that I felt were deeper . And so naturally, next I had to offer up a week-long Instagram challenge to share some deeper thoughts with my community. Except, I was terrified!

I direct messaged a group of four people I trusted and asked them if I should host a challenge and their solid advice was to take the Nike approach and “Just Do It”. Bless their supportive little hearts because I went ahead and hosted that first one and it lifted my spirits so much. Some truly lovely people joined in with me on my challenge and I felt so wonderful and validated.

I would go on to host two more Soul Selfie challenges, later that year in October of 2016 and this past Spring in 2017. And it’s time again to do this challenge thing!

The idea is to take the prompt word and think about a story you can tell that you can be a little more honest about with yourself. To be seen a little more by owning a choice or a way of life that no longer serves you. Or perhaps one that changed your life in a great way. We are all so much more interesting than we first offer and that’s what I love about these challenges.

The other part I love about participating in challenges is all the yummy alliances and acquaintances we get to enjoy. I was on Instagram and didn’t have many friends and I dared myself to do a well-known challenge called April Love. I still have friends from that challenge. The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge id Here on Shalavee.com

So here we go… The Fall Soul Selfie Challenge of 2017 starts in three days! And I sooooo look forward to seeing what wonderful offerings show up on that hashtag page which now houses 494 posts! But I look more forward to getting to know more about a community that I hold dear and appreciate for supporting me and helping to raise me up in my self-worth. I am forever indebted.

If you have any questions about the challenge, direct message me on Instagram or Facebook or pop a comment in this post at the bottom.For a sampling of what the last Fall Soul Selfie Challenge held, see this post.

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The Relationship Trust Fund


A picture of the cover of a book called the Speed of Trust came up in my IG feed recently called the Speed of Trust. After reading a synopsis of the book , I was reminded that all affairs of the soul eventually find their way into “better ways to do business” books. And while trust is indeed an essential element in every relationship, personal or professional, the development of a trust fund within us for ourselves is often forgotten.

I spoke of the importance of making trust deposits here and building up trust funds with your family, especially your children. You better have extra trust in there for when things go a little rough and misunderstandings happen. If both parties were aware of the value of this surplus you’re building, it would be even better. We could appreciate the better times and work hard to mend ourselves in the worse ones.The Relationship Trust Fund on Shalavee.com

I am struck by all this gracious goodwill for everyone’s benefit except ourselves. Everything about and for ourselves we take for granted. We can’t hear our self-bullying words. We ignore ourselves and follow paths that aren’t ours, as well as feed, neglect, and dress our bodies according to others’ standards. We then quell our discontent and distrust of ourselves with Tv, booze, and sugar. Our own trust funds with ourselves are non-existent.

I am slowly coming to understand that my inner child has every reason to never trust me again. But that this trust is essential to my happiness and to find more purpose and create more meaningful work. She has to believe that I will keep her safe and not ignore her needs. That is how the trust fund begins to form with anyone as well as yourself. That showing self-compassion instead of employing judgement is the next step to this growing up process. The Relationship Trust Fund on Shalavee.com

And lastly, if I am a person who trusts myself and my own choices, then I’m someone who others will trust. Because “do as I say not as I do” never works for kids and it could be a deal breaker when I work with anyone else. Self-confidence and self-trust need a track record and I’m slowly starting to make one.

Anyone find this familiar? Do you trust you? I urge all thoughts here or anywhere I’m online. Links below.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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